learning, growing, loving .... and STILL on the same page !

I remember this day ... 10 years ago
PERHAPS not as well as a couple of other people.  As far as I know- the wedding went off without a hitch.  Family came from further than expected, much to our joy.  The bride looked beautiful, the groom and his brother, the most handsome of all ... and the surroundings were perfect.  Not fancy or over the top ... down to earth & sensible, just like the couple to be wed.  They insisted on paying for it themselves and everything they chose to be important .. was.  A friend of Terry's took pictures- capturing the essence of the ceremony EXACTLY as it felt, and then an extra roll in B&W- which have turned out to be my favorite shots of all.  I stood proudly with the couple alongside the man who helped create this wonderful son of mine ... and I smiled inside & out when I was joined by the love of my life (the Captain) in additional poses.  THESE were 2 young people who had each stood against situations that some adults never handle as successfully and now they were uniting to become even stronger yet!
It was sunny & warm ... a little warmer than anticipated- so awnings were rented at the last minute to keep people shaded during the reception.  There was much laughter & genuine celebration shared on this day.  AND.....
       since that event ... 3,650 days ago ... they have dealt with times when the family is separate by miles & time ... but NEVER separated by a lack of love & respect for each other.  They are good people individually and even good-er together!!
We love you Chris & April.  We are proud of you & your dedication to your kids and your life together.  Keep up the good work!  10 years ... nearly in the blink of an eye.

temperate night with a side of starlight

    It's unusually quiet for this time of the evening ... perhaps travelers have finally figured out that life is MORE enjoyable when you get to where  you're going in time to kick back & relax.  (doubt it- though it is MY philosophy of getting from point A to point B without total dread)
  Anyway ... I spent this afternoon & partway into the evening with my music peeps and found that as the day ticked by ... and departures were made .... those of us left to the end were the ones who often are.  The ones who pick up the slack, the ones who have much in common and much to gab about.  It's a group who, once whittled to this point, will speak their minds and get comfy with each other.  And there is much laughter and letting down of the hair!
   It was a musical day that is leading into a musical long weekend hence ... when much planning will take place that will guide us thru March 2014.... There will be meetings & pow-wows and discussion.  There will be Wii and singing.  There will be puzzles and singing.  There will be eating and singing.  And a week +1 day from now, we will be exhausted from not sleeping a normal night's rest, we will be scratching our heads at all that we have given ourselves to accomplish, and we will be hoping another opportunity will come in the future to do it all again.  We suck the energy from each other, then fill it right back up ... instances apart.  I better rest up now!

difficulty agreeing to disagree

It has been my experience that men often have issues with leaving a disagreement unresolved.  Now, let me state up front that I am NOT talking about arguments between the sexes ... they usually go one of two ways ... ignored or accompanied by ranting & raving.  I AM referring to those little things in life that aren't important enough to take a stand on.  There is no right or wrong.  There is simply two opinions.  I'm ok with that. (and not in a "I know I'm right, so I'm not going to argue with you" way) It's more of an "I just don't care enough to carry on a long discussion, I don't anticipate being swayed, & I'm tired of scratching my head over it" angle!  Try as I might to suggest that we let it lie as just one of those things that we feel differently about ... the Capt isn't leaning in the same direction.  THAT, in itself, put us in the same agree to disagree box (as I see it)  I think this is a Venus - Mars thing.  These days, my head says "whatever" ... while I smile politely and TRY to drop the subject.  The Capt, in the meantime is dissecting the conversation to find reason within it.  HA- left brained or what?!!  Such a foolish waste of time.  HOWEVER ... it does, occasionally lead us to the point where I tell him he's probably right (saying the "p" word as sincerely as I can).  Afterall, it was only a conversation, and I was done with it!

double whammy weekend of tears

TODAY would have been dad's 89th birthday.  TOMORROW would have been another Mother's Day with mom.  NEITHER will be taking place .. neither will bring reason to celebrate.  But BOTH are reasons to spend an extra few moments throughout the weekend ... thinking about each of them.  The Captain & I spent numerous long weekends with them in one of the places they enjoyed being most in their latter years.  It was wonderful, warm, family time ... when we didn't share their attention with anyone.  It was all about just being together.  I miss these times the most.  I have happier things to put thought into right now, but sometimes ... revisiting happy memories ... is a good way to brighten the dark spot in my heart.  I love you Dad, I love you Mom ... I'm glad you're together. XOXO

April .... where did you go?

cloudy with 100% chance of smiles

I've settled myself on the lanai with a cozy blanky across my lap & the patio heater fired up- having appropriately chosen an ENGLAND cup for my Bavarian chocolate toffee latte.  I share the space afore me with puffy gray clouds that I'm hoping will drop some rain.  The winds predicted are late in arrival, which doesn't hurt my feelings at all.  I am munching on a plate of fruit prepared by my wonderful hubby & thinking about all that I have to look forward to this day
 ... even more than usual!  And then little snippets of thought pop in & out of my "posting" process, making my ponderings flow disjointedly! (I hate it when that happens!) Here comes one now ... I look at my England cup & I am wondering if it's the one my sister brought home to me, or the one the Capt's workmate brought back knowing that I collect them.  This makes me think of my sister Cindy.  Yesterday ... I pulled out my Germany cup because it matched the IPAD cover I was holding (dont ask) ... and thought of my sister Lindy.. who SO NEEDS to go to Germany someday, as she is the picture in the dictionary above the word fraulein.  The day before, I had just heard that my sister Lisa had come out of an unexpected surgery ... and I was drinking from a cup I received from her long ago!  Having typed away those thoughts... perhaps I can carry on now.  Smiles ... I've had near a dozen already today and its only mid morning.  Some have shown outwardly in Sweet Adeline style- some I can feel in my heart.  But I am already enjoying the probable Cinco De Mayo lunch I will likely partake in ... picturing the menu that I don't need to bother looking at... since at La Palapa.. I ALWAYS get the same thing now.  Knowing it means I don't have to bother making dinner after the siesta inducing fullness I will have for hours afterward.  I have leftovers from a birthday FIESTA that took place last night that will feed us tomorrow night as well!  I am planning at least 2-3 hours of playtime in my design studio between now & then and ... an anticipated gabfest this evening with my Siamese twin next door that seems to go on only a fraction of what the clock hands claim.  These are all things I do on a regular basis and these are ALSO ALL things I appreciate and relish in EVERY time I do them!  Lucky, LUCKY ... "me"

excited to see the new cub .... sad to see everything else (?)

as encouragement so as NOT to dread making a 3+ hour journey north for a dentist appt ... we planned a day at the SF Zoo.  It's been close to 10 years since we were last there ... and a new tiger cub was born in February for us to take a gander at.  A lot of changes have taken place since our last visit, but one in particular surprised me.
ME.
I surprised me.  Or, rather, my reaction to seeing the animals did.  I noticed it particularly when this guy stared up at me ... for a very long time.  And when he finally broke away & wandered off ... I felt such sadness.  There was no joy or happiness in his eyes or his movements, and why would there be?  
He was not alone.  The enclosure was huge.  BUT- he wasn't in his real environment either... allowed to do what he wanted, when he wanted, IF he wanted.  I don't know if any of these things even matter to him .. but they suddenly mattered to me.  From that moment on, I found myself REALLY looking at the animals ... not just snapping pictures and saying how cute or beautiful they were.  Many of them looked somehow unattached to their environments.   
It surprises me that even at my age ... I am still discovering new things about myself?!!