5/31/12 ... the date, my "baby" was delivered ...

 I said my goodbyes the the big brown bear almost 2 weeks ago.  He has been a kind & gentle reminder of the music in my heart nearly every day since I got him (for Christmas 1999).  As a child I wanted to tickle the ivories, but we didn't have the finances to support the instrument or the lessons.  I stood on a milk crate, straining my neck to look through the window of a dance studio that butted up against our back yard, as the accompanist plunked away.  It was this music that first attracted me.  I saw the little girls, many my own age ... tapping, twirling, bending,  & leaping throughout each day.  Once the conversation with mom resulted a resounding & unyielding NO to the piano "thing", I approached her more gingerly about the dancing "thing".   Again, without the answer I'd yearned for.  SO- while I couldn't mimic the musical keyboard ... I could stick a few dozen tacks into my sneakers & dance around the house! 

It wasn't until MANY years later when I got my first piano.  I was married & we sold a motorcylcle to pay for it.  A few of years later, we sold it to help pay the expenses of child #2.  YEARS after that, my dad sold me the piano they had purchased for my sisters (none of who really took to the lessons "thing").  Only to have marriage #2 in a shambles and me trying to buy my way out of it .. so once again, bye-bye piano!  EVENTUALLY, my prince charming came along, saving me from the cruel world, & encouraged me to start singing again- & felt that "I must have a piano" if I'm gonna learn my music! and that SAME prince charming was also instrumental (pun intended) ... in the arrival of our "baby" today.  Well .... that is .... he, & my dad & my Pa.  I've had the most amazing men in my life these past few years and this will be the symbol to remind me of that EVERY TIME I walk into the room!

the blossom begins to open

this is Anna.
and she is coming into her own.
she is blossoming.
she lights up the room when she smiles.
she's beautiful!
I used to know her better, when she was little & would pull me by hand into her pink bedroom to show me her dolls.  But she's no longer little.  She's a young lady.  A beautiful young lady.  She's a little shy, a lot modest, & she moves to the beat of her own drum.  She has baggage she is sorting through. It was packed long before she had the words to describe how she was feeling and living in a household of all males doesn't make it any easier ... but she's trying ... and in those moments ... when she smiles, I can see the young lady she is trying so hard to become.  I hope to get to know her a little more with time, I think we have a few things in common!!

that's what friends are for ....

there's NOTHING we love more about our slice of paradise ...

than spending time with ANY of our FEOTS neighbors!!  whether it's a serious chat with Lily ....

or toasting to the day, the life, the company we keep- with a glass of vino .....

or the way they bully us into eating healthy .....

the sun is shining (& it has NOTHING to do with the weather)

THERE'S BEEN A LOT GOING ON the last couple of weeks and with the SCARY stuff resolved of panic ... we have been able to concentrate on some of the m-e-s-s-y stuff.  That is ... moving furniture, clearing walls, dealing with noise & dust & more noise and wind that caused slamming doors - which made big noises and blew the "already dust" into every room of the house!  It got all the way down to Pa's apt, and since he sleeps with his mouth open ... there was even grit in his teeth!
BUT ...
a HUG portion of that is under our belts and we can REALLY see the big picture now!  Still things to do (lots) ... but we have 3 days of almost normal routine (company's coming tomorrow).  Beginning tomorrow - I'm gonna do some patchin' & paintin' and plannin'.  But right now .... I'm gonna do some sleepin'.

1 week & MANY prayers ago ...

the ONLY silver lining we were looking for when we arrived to spend time with Terry ... was that we could help in some way, keep his spirits up, provide him with a little something that might brighten his day, just keep him from getting TOTALLY bored & lonely.  We were able to do all that- but ended up also being offered use of a condo the burn center owns.  It gave us solitude & privacy at the end of each tiring day .... (it's fully stocked with food, tolietries, games, even clothes..  just like going home)  The purpose is mostly for when you follow a patient, without having time to prepare for a stay- and to give you one less thing to worry about!  We only slept & showered there, since we had enough resource to buy our own food, etc- but I was MORE THAN HAPPY to donate some money to the program, because others would not be as fortunate (or have the positive outcome that Terry has)

THIS was our first view of Terry ... fitful sleeping because all the bandaging was like wearing thermal blankets ... and the room, although cool (even for me) was without relief for him.  He was exhausted, his eyes were dry, the burns were stinging (at a level he was already used to), and no way to lay other than flat on his back ... which was getting "old".  He was eating only fruit, or anything cool, but drinking TONS of ice water & ice cold ensure.  He was in good spirits, just uncomfortable.  The following day- was a tough one.  The had unwrapped him for scraping & cleaning .... the pain (#8) lasted all day with only a couple of hours(or less) of relief in each 5 hr segment ... while the pain med was full strength in his system.  There was nothing we could do for him, other than help him up & down when necessary & keep his sport bottle filled with ice & water.

*by day 5- Terry's biggest complaint (aside of the constant heat overload) was the smell of his hair.  It still had that singed, burnt smell- and after having the bandage "helmet" on for so long ... his hair was plastered to his head!  The smile on his face here, when the tech was shampooing ... IS genuine.  It felt great just having the moisture & the rubbing.  (and it smelled AND felt good afterward too) 

When his request was a "real" mocha from Starbucks ... I knew everything would be alright.  He hasn't lost his sense of humor throughout this entire journey ... but it's been muffled a time or two through bouts of pain.  After the first time I said "we can be so thankful it wasn't worse" ... he told me that right now, he can't think in those terms because there was & occassionally still is ... pain that he can't imagine being "worse", but he added that he knows he will also be thinking about how fortunate he was in the big picture, at some point.  As of today-  it looks like he will be discharged within the next 24 hours ... virtually a week to the day of a gas bubble erupting from a water well (go figure) .... the burn center physicians are amazed at the speed of his recovery ... even the healing progress of the burns compared to yesterday!  There is something to be said about being a healthy, 6'2", volleyball player!! (and cutie pie, if I do say so myself) There is not enough fingers & toes on my block to count all his friends, our friends, & family who have sent well wishes.  Yes, bad things happen to good people ... but GOOD PEOPLE also happen to good people!  Continue on with your speedy recovery my son, I'm thinking of you every minute!

beauty is in the gifts of love!

I AGREE- sometimes you look at something (or even someone) and you think ... hmmmm, not too attractive .....
BUT THEN, you get to know it, you use it, you put it on it's little pedestal, you think about where & who it came from .... and it's beautiful !!
AND THEN- there are those things that are beautiful from the moment they catch your eye .... and you melt (& a tear forms in your eye) .... and you love them too!  ALMOST as much as the people you got them from!!!!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU ... they were "just" what the Dr ordered .... XOXOXOXOXOX

travel plan announcement

I guess now might be the time to discuss this gentleman's travel plans.  An unexpected trip has come up that he is preparing for.  On the bright side ... he doesn't have to worry about the directions to get there, and his welcoming party will make the travel well worthwhile.  He doesn't have to pack (which he always dreads), so the little details of what to bring & what to buy there doesn't have to be mulled over.  The actual departure time hasn't been determined, but it's not something to be precisely scheduled- so he's just going to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants to do it .... & miraculously, he'll be ready when his limo arrives.  The goal is for this journey be as carefree as possible.  To make it easier on him, than it is likely to be for us.  He doesn't talk much about it, but I believe that although he'll miss us- he is looking forward to the destination on some level, & what he'll be able to do when he arrives there.  He has a couple of toes out the door already, so I know he's thinking about it more than he indicates.  I try not to think too much about it.  There is much to enjoy now, that I would rather spend my emotional energy on.  And after all- it is all about this gracious, compassionate, gentle, & loving man you see here.  I love you Pa.

a whole lotta shakin' goin' on!

 well ... not really shakin' ... more like bangin' & poundin' & more bangin'.  Some sawin', some crashin' (the good kind I suppose), some more bangin'.  And it's only just begun!  I'm sure glad my furniture isn't around to see all this mess!  haha

stop and smell the ... uh .... um ...

It's a beautiful morning here on the central coast.  Not a cloud in the boy-blue sky .... a light breeze strong arming the marine layer at early light.  The parcel next door was mowed down yesterday ... making the squirrel playground MUCH more visable, & giving the brids something to crow about!  The tractor guy will return sometime today to whack the growth along the fence lines, then disappear for another year.  The June 1st deadline for "field flat tops" has always been respected by the property owner with time to spare.  Although I wish it smelled like fresh cut lawn ... I do appreciate the rolling flatness that the chop creates .... at least for a month or so ... then it starts up again. 

If I were willing to irrigate a patch or two myself- this would be the time to throw out some flower seeds, but with water the price of liquid gold ... it will have to suffice to do so inside my own yard ... where weeds grow merrily without any source of irrigation. God must have been giggling inwardly when he invented those hardy & persistant menaces! But I digress .... Our location, slightly elevated, often creates a mircro climate compared the beach, a mere 1/4 mile away. On days such as today we have a nano & a pico within that micro.{depending on what side of the house you are on} - voila .... multiple choice conditions! With the goings on here at the house ... yet to get-on-agoin' ... I think I will appreciate my down time accordingly! Happy Tuesday.

verbal hugs (well at least they don't require any special shoes)

Lately, it would seem that I'm getting a lot of hugs ... verbally.  And sometimes- that's the way it has to be.  With logistics, time management, & life's interferences ... I can't always have the physical hugs I crave. (although the Capt more than made up for it with his)  And so it was today.  HOWEVER, with that being the case ... the Captain & I had an amazingly productive day moving furniture & getting the LAST of the chorus rummage sale items priced & boxed.  The garage seemed to be my "craft room"  for the project- but it worked out.  My body is racked with fatigue- but my brain is mighty happy to have it done!!  And the hugs I'd hoped for ??  They were via "Ma Bell" ... but plentiful & timely.  As for the flowers I'd planned to be showered with..... I guess I'll settle for a gardenia scented bubble bath a little later! 
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

but I thought ....

IT DOESN"T seem all that long ago that on this day, - I could hope to be flanked by MOM bookends .... in celebration of having the 2 of them in my life.  In a perfect world, we would be sitting at the SeaSide Cafe, under the patio heater ... waiting for our banana streusel pancakes, while sipping the vanilla latte that they had both become accustomed to when in my company. (black coffee ... blech!)  We would be chatting about anything other than world politics.  We would be laughing.  I would be teasing the two of them for being short & they would complain (but love it) The guys would have wondered why they didn't get to tag along .. but we'd have reminded them it's OUR DAY, & this is how we are going to spend this part of it!  AND, we would have reminded them that they should be busy buying flowers & preparing a feast for later in this sunny day, with all the kids & siblings & grandkids gathered up ....

BUT AS I SAID, this would all be in that "perfect world" that we rarely get to step into.  Both mothers are gone, there is no family gathering and, quite frankly, no sun today either.  SO- it is another day on the calendar with much to do around here that won't get done if I hand around this keyboard!  If I were a bunny- I would HOP TO IT!! 

mental time off ....

 the BEST way to take one's mind off of one's heavier thoughts ... is to take a drive down our BEAUTIFUL CA coastline!!  It always cures my ills (for the day)

I LOVE Santa Barbara - she NEVER disappoints me.  Photo ops around every corner, top to bottom ... and picturesque history hotspots.

and even though it's every day scenery is enough to ask for ..... IF YOU are lucky enough to arrive during rose season .... it's what I would expect heaven to look like.  GLORIOUS  (ummmm, it smells great too)

 

WELL DAD .... your birthday has rolled around and you aren't here for us to hug, or tease, or shower with gifts.  You left us 2 months shy of your #88, but don't think for a moment that any of us forgot!!  HOPEFULLY, you & mom are sitting there right now, enjoying a HUGE piece of cake, smothered in ice cream and loving the fact that you can celebrate ALL your birthdays together forever now.  (not so) Happy Birthday.  I miss you.

timing IS everything (no matter what)

I'm often best at what I'm doing, when I am IN THE MOOD to do it.  Whether it's sewing, cleaning, creating ... I am far faster, more efficient, more at ease, enjoying myself more & more ... everything- provided I am in the mood to do it.  I painted a whole room lickity split ... but it's taken me months to paint the window sills ... simply because ... you guessed it!
This morning .... feeling particularly musical, I started recording a voice track for my quartet and as I "felt a song coming on" (you might say)... the westminster chime clock in the living room goes off.  rewind, erase, start again  ....  a motorhome gets to the end of the street (in front of the house) & takes a million forward & reverse actions before he's heading back down the street (lost) ... urt, clang, squeek, bonk!  rewind, erase, start again .... the cat clock in the hallway starts meowing.  rewind, erase, start again ....  the house phone rings (political advertisement crap).  rewind, erase, start again .... hmmm, la-la-la-la ... getting it almost done ... the coo-coo clock is letting me know it's 11 am ... gee, thanks.  rewind, erase, start again .... okay now, what song was I singing??  here we go .... BUT, a leaf blower starts up across the street.  rewind, erase, start again .... I AM JUST ABOUT to hit the record button again when my cell phone starts to ring (oo ee, oo ah, ding, dang, wala wala bing bang).  I give up ... this was OBVIOUSLY NOT the right "timing" for this venture!  rewind, erase, go do laundry....

starry, starry night .....

I'm sitting in the evening's coolness after a warm coastal day.  Here, when the sun is cutting through a marine layer- it can be a lot warmer than what the thermometer might have you suspect.  But round about 6:30, I could see a fog bank laying low on the horizon .... just waiting to make a deposit, & it could rob us of another look at our full (ish) moon!  The past 3 nights have been so clear that my senses woke me up during each of them to see the moon's glow on the ocean.  I love that.  It's not a common luxury. 

Today was one of numerous little surprises.  #1 A new photo printer was armed & ready for my use before the Captain headed out for his kayak tour.  #2 The sun was ready to "use" before 10am.  #3 Lily pup from across the street came over for a short visit, &  #4  I heard from someone I've not seen in a long while. You might say, they were all welcomed moments .... which one cannot always expect.

Tomorrow morning, I shall trudge down to the dentist's office where I will reluctantly fork over around 1400.00 as my part of a 5,000.00 expense for a long-overdue repair.  It's rumored to be a long & NUMBING appt that I've put off more than once, but have been warned of the danger of waiting too much longer.  Once I've completed it- I'll be glad it's done .... I just hate sitting for that long when I could be accomplishing so much more elsewhere (for so much less $$!)  oilwell.  ALL THE MORE REASON, to enjoy this beautiful evening with company I appreciate.

you can't take EVERYDAY seriously!

The setting was amazing - in the hills, on a breezy day, keeping all the clouds at bay & awarding us a magnificent view for the evening's festivities!! 

 INSTALLATION ceremonies for the incoming,  Celebration Chorus Board of directors!  What a great idea (& thank you Sally) 

decorations were colorful & abundant .... indicating that someone had thought of EVERYTHING!



SMILES arrived ..... one by one ..... often in clothing/costume to mark the occassion! 



SOME people appeared almost as if in disguise!!



which had people PONDERING their identity.

others ... were simply versions of their "inner self"



LOIS - as usual, AND NOW expected as our newly elected PRES ..... took care of business!





and .... much to the Captain's delight .... we stopped in the middle of the road to let a young king snake pass, so as to save him from being squished by the next departer.

I wish I may, I wish I might ....

I'm sitting on my lanai, bathed in the warmth of the patio heater ... adjusted just low enough to keep the coastal coolness at bay. For a just a little bit longer.  It's a beautiful evening ... with the sky full of stars and a quietness that settles in beginning around this time.  The boys are watching a movie together, but my mind is a jumble and I'm having trouble just sitting to enjoy it with them.  There are things "in the air" tonight that have me a little unsettled at the moment.  Things I hope will be resolved in a way more positive than they are being presented thus far.  And only time can provide answers to my troubled questions.  There is a prevailing sadness looming and I'm not ready to deal with it or accept it.  It's a sign that there are things we don't have control over.  It's a sign that "time" has it's own agenda.  It's a sign (all too soon again) that life is only a temporary state of existance.  My concern may be premature .... and I hope that to be the case, but my experience from the past has been that I am better at fearing the worst and being ever-so-pleased when it doesn't happen.  It's my emotional defense mechanism.  Caught totally unprepared, I don't cope as well.  Even now, rather than dwell, I think I will bed down my computer and just appreciate what I love most about this moment .... the trickling waterfall  a few feet away, an occassional frog croak, & Michael Buble playing thru Pandora.  ummm



THIS is a "peep" ... or so the label says. 
Only it's not.
Well, it is, but it's not.  I mean it says it is ... but it's not.
Alright, ALRIGHT- I can see this is confusing you (?), so let me elaborate.  I'm not a big fan of eating Peeps.  I think they're cute.  I love the colors, I've decorated food with them, I've gifted them, I'm pleased that they are not just for Easter any longer, but I have no desire to eat another one.  The Captain is STILL scratching his head over hearing me state that "there's too much sugar" ... he can't wrap his head around that.  The fact is- he's been in a sugar-induced brain coma for at least 10 years.... but that's an issue for another day.  I actually like these peeps.  unfortunately.  (although not as much as chocolate covered marshmellow bunnies that I DIDN'T GET any of this past Easter!)  They are chocolate covered, with just a bit of marshmellow creamy-ish stuff in the center, and bite size!  YUM.  I'm glad ... the bunny that brought them ONLY brought 1 bag.  By the time she & some others checked out a couple, the Captain put a few on his desk, & I sent some in a baggie, downstairs with Pa  ... there were STILL a dozen of them staring me in the face .... beconing me as I passed..... haunting me in my dreams.  ARGH.  Thankfully ... I still had a couple left to pose for this photo for the blog.  But I'm not sure how long after they survived.  Rest in Peeps.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLO!!!

what can I say ?? she's just so darn photogenic!  EVERYONE I know is totally jealous of her knack for ALWAYS looking great.  the smile, the props ... she seems to be in the right place at the right time ... EVERYTIME!  I'm just glad she calls me her friend (at least until I posted this)  HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLFRIEND!

life has it's ups & downs (for ALL of us)

I don't remember much about this time of my life.  Memories are vague, with photos few & far between.  My recollections of childhood seem to begin around the age of 8.  Finances were tight for mom- on her own with 3 youngins'.  We never went hungry or felt abandoned .... but my older brother & myself had a lot of adult responsibilities simply because my mom was carrying the load of 3 jobs on her back.



Then life changed ... for the better, when mom met & married this man who became our first REAL dad.  The family grew, we had stability, consistancy, laughter in our "home", & family dinners!  It was the first time I remember ever living in the same house for over a year.  And I felt safe! 



Eventually (duh) ... I grew up, married, & had a family of my own.  SADLY, I thought I had learned from the mistakes made before me.  I was going to live happily ever after- with 2 kids, a house, a pool, & camping vacations every year.  And ALL OF THAT happened ... well, except for the happily ever after part!  13 years later, I was on my own (for the first time actually), a little shakey ... but managing.  Some hard work (& and a few disappointments) later, I was finally comfortable with myself & accepting of my failures & my accomplishments.  And then ......



somehow- out of the blue .... without warning (or even hoping) ..... I met the Captain.  Through a series of odd & unusal circumstances, we crossed paths at a time in our lives when it did us the most good.  NEITHER of us were interested in a permanent relationship.  We enjoyed each other's company, talked a LOT.  We  became friends .... lovers ....  & partners in 1999, at a fairytale wedding spot on Maui.

And as if life wasn't good enough at that point- we found ourselves with the opportunity to move to the coast.  Closer to my family & with plans to remodel & add Mom & Dad I to the household.  It was unbelievable!!  It's a beach house castle fit for the Princess I am ... & comes complete with neighbors worth their weight in gold.  WOW



In the meantime .... we were gifted with 2 adorable grandkids!  Anthony was born in 2005, with Addyson folowing in 2007.  We get to spend ALMOST enough time with them .... although their school, sports, & home life seems to be interfering! (haha)  They get more beautiful (and fun) with each passing year and we love sharing the beach with them.  ADD to all of this- that the Captain & I are both retired .... although our shedules don't seem to reflect that fact ?!



NOW- a new chapter officially begins in my life.  I joined a local Sweet Adeline chorus a year ago after a 6 year hiatus, and as a result, have gained a whole lotta music & joy.  Better yet, an amazing group of friends have been added to my inner circle, and as of today ... MORE time & energy being added to my plate.  But as hectic & perhaps even stressful as things may get around here .... I know I will be facing them with the Captain at my side and a HUGE smile on my face!!!  Yes, life is good (better than good)