and the question was ... do we have to pay extra for the sunset or does it come with the neighborhood?

What a treat ..... the lights of our decorations and the lights of nature!! GREAT sunset tonight. Just to make sure I wouldn't forget the time of year we were enjoying the sight ... I made sure some of the Christmas lights showed up in the shot. Ahhhh the good life!

it must be Tuesday .... I hear the leaf blower

I noticed that the gardeners started a little later than usual last Tuesday morning. (and again today) With a neighbor that is a night owl, I always wondered if she used them as an alarm clock on Tuesday mornings & got her day jumpstarted from the lovely hum of the leaf blower! Until recently, I didn't give it much thought because at 6:45am on those days, I was passing them on our street or on the frontage road as they headed this way. The funny thing is .... I don't know what they are blowing ... we have no LEAFS (yes, I know it's leaves) .....we all have palm trees around here. . . so are they just making noise so we know they are showing up?? Hmmmm .... maybe there is method to their madness .... getting exercise while walking around with a blower, & getting paid for it. (why didn't I think of that?)

routines, ruts, & re-decorating

I'm a fan of routine ...... it helps me to be prepared & organized. Routine allows my planning without being hurried. Routine lowers my stress levels. For others, having routine is the prelude to ending up in a rut. OR SO THEY SAY. The fact is, if you have a routine in your life that allows you to get certain things done at certain times on certain days ... then it's also likely that you will then have time to do things on the fly that therefore avoid getting into a rut! Take our cats for instance (figuratively speaking) ..... they have routines that last all of a few days to a few weeks and about the time we call it a routine ... it isn't one. No chance of them getting into a rut ! And speaking of redecorating (huh?) .... I pulled all the autumn puffs & fluffs together today so that I can get them packed away for another 11 months. Then, as the week continues to unfold ..... I will change over to Christmas stuff. Gonna do things a little different this year. Not as much, not as busy, not as traditional. Talk about getting as far from a rut as I have ever been ??? We'll see how it goes!
hey ... ....
EVER NOTICE things look so much worse before they begin to look better? You might say it's the "House" version of decorating ..... without the insults or vicodin.
hmmmmmmmmmmmm ........ what to do next ......

changing of the holiday guard

in the tradition (?) of out with the past & in with the present .... this will likely be my next blog banner .... arriving sometime later in the week.

have you had your pumpkin pancakes today?

A few days ago ... someone emailed me a recipe for pumpkin, ginger, pecan pancakes. Being the pumpkin freak that I am (yum), I couldn't wait to try them out. I opened the can of pure pumpkin, and as the Captain wanders thru, he reminds me that he's gonna run a last minute kayak tour, so he'll be home around 2pm- & out the door he goes. DARN, I don't want to make pumpkin pancakes for 1 (and Pa was far from awake). So, can open, I take a spoonful of it out & dump it into some Betty Crocker biscuit mix, add a dash of pumpkin pie seasoning & a little cinnamon & milk and tah-dah .... pumpkin biscuits! A couple of days later ... with the balance of the pumpkin still in the fridge, I decide I want pancakes "right now", so I start up a batter- using the "just add water" pancake mix, an egg, cinnamon, some pumpkin, p.p. spice and some water & POOF- big, fluffy, orange pancakes served with maple syrup. Again- the Captain was out the door or busy or who knows- so I took a couple of pancakes, along with some maple sausage down to pops. YUM (they were all that and a bag of chips)
I didn't measure, I just threw in some of this & sprinkled in some of that and figured if I could pour it into the shape of a pancake .... then THAT'S what it was .... a pancake!! TRY IT (without the ginger, without the pecans- for that matter, without the recipe!!)

insert picture of chocolate cake here .....

that is .... if we hadn't attacked it like animals there might have been a picture. It was a lovely looking piece of cake ...... dark, rich mahogany colored, with matching frosting. As soon as it arrived in our kitchen .... I was looking forward to it .... so I ate lite at dinner. And while the Captain was washing up some dishes- I was making a pot of double dutch chocolate coffee. Within seconds of it's delivery to the dining room table .... the plates were practically licked clean!!! So while I apologize that you didn't get to see the Captain's paycheck for his consulting work today .... I do NOT apologize for enjoying the rewards of his mental toil. (our thanks go out to the Francos for our sweet smiles this evening)

what are the 3 stooges' names? .... (I think I know)

A few minutes ago- I mentioned to the Captain that there was a 3 Stooges movie on & that he should hurry with his chores so he could watch it. It's a joke between us, because he thinks the stooges are silly, & dopey, & he's embarassed for them at times. MUCH to his foolishness just moments later- he calls out loudly "do you think the stooges' names are Ken, Dan & Dick?" Now, I could stop this post right now because THAT says it all but ..... given this opportunity .... how can I let such a question pass without elaboration? The Captain, of course I know everything about and yes, he qualifies for the trio. By himself NO, but in the company of Dan, most definitely. Dan, I know enough about to know this. Dick is the newcomer to the CDS ratpack and already, I see a probable 1/3 contribution. These are 3 guys that can laugh at themselves. (yay) Better yet .... they are also 3 "go to" guys. You need help? They are on your doorstep! SO, while they all are likely to admit they would prefer to be compared to the 3 Musketeers rather than the men of mayhem ...... let it be said that I know 3 wives that are younger than their prospective years because they laugh every day!!

in a snap (ginger that is)

as if my hot tea wasn't soothing enough .... the Captain brought home some ginger snaps :o)
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my rain didn't arrive, but my hubby came to the rescue!!

(apparently) you can never have too many cat beds

POPOKI has made it clear (on more than one occassion) that he is the alpha cat in this household. Yes, he's a stranger-phobe, & we often wonder if he has feathers rather than fur since I swear I've heard him cluck!

As a result of him dominance- Monkey has staked out some spots that Poki is either scared to go into or unaware of still. In lieu of the fact that Monkey often plants herself in whatever room I am in, and often walking (or snooping) about in places she doesn't belong or too small to tiptoe about without creating crafting chaos .... I kitty-fied a cubby in my design table & she pulled into her new parking space immediately. That was a few days ago and I have seen her in it a couple of times since then- but today, it was Poki in residence. INFACT- he's been following me around for the past couple of hours. Intellectually, I know, that it's because he thinks eventually I will go into the kitchen & he will get some tuna. But emotionally, I choose to believe that it is because just wants to hang with me!! And to make my me party even more enjoyable, I brewed up some cranberry tea. With a few projects lined up .... I am hoping to have the entire day in this room. THIS is pure pleasure for me ..... because I know that my Captain is supportive of giving me whatever time or space I want- and today is just the day for that. (the weatherman is promising me a little rainshower this afternoon!)

ahhhhh ..... a warm brew, kitty kats for kompany, & the Hallmark channel. lucky, LUCKY me!!

Thanksgiving .... different, but dede-lightful.

traditionally, this day is spent quietly, with the "real" Thanksgiving Day celebrated with a large family group on Saturday. Noise, comotion, great food, lots going on ..... but this year, with life getting in the way of our social calendar ... it's a little different. We are here- tucked safe & sound (?) in our cozy home for the long holiday weekend. BUT- without much of a thought or a plan .... our neighbors, who are as much family as friends could get .... were sharing their harvest with us & vise-versa and you would have thought hours of planning had paved the way. Like clockwork- they arrived for PIE NOON ... then disappeared for a few hours to return with bountiful side dishes to compliment the golden bird that had been rescued from our oven. The meal turned into a laugh-fest & sharing of memories from many Thanksgivings past and the time flew by. Next thing ya know, it was 10:30pm and I heard .... "well, we better get to bed so these nice peole can go home!" (gonna use that one again sometime I assure you). So you see ..... even at war with these people ..... we found a way to all just get along!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PA !!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POP-A-ROO !! another milestone reached (yay) and this year we decided to celebrate over a turkey dinner with all the trimings!!

87 years and going strong.

PIE NOON is dedicated you you Pa.

Dinner delivery ala the Captain & his Princess!

WE DID IT ..... we spent our Thanksgiving eve doing the kind of thing I think Thanksgiving is all about and it felt really good! (and I am hoping this is the "first annual" outing for us)
We checked in at the Vet's hall just after 12noon today and by 12:35, we had made our first meal delivery. That continued on til 6:48pm this evening and by then ..... we had returned to the hall 5 times for additional addresses & meals ...... and our final delivery made it 106 meals that we handed over. We were here & there and then back to there again, and as if it wasn't worth it just to see the looks on some recipient faces .... the Captain & I did it together. It was probably the most compassionate "date" we have ever been on! The time went by really fast and I am already thinking of ways we can make more deliveries in the same amount of time for next year! WELL DONE VOLUNTEERS .... rumor has it that over 400 meals were delivered (and MANY more than that were served at the hall itself). What a wonderful community!

Alfred .... we need you to direct THE BIRDS #2

I believe that when we get hard rains or persistent showers .... the birds are "shut-ins' for a few hours (or a day) and when they are able to come out & weather the storm ... they act a little manic. particularly the doves. First off, and I mean this in the most adoring "observer les oiseaux" of ways .... doves are stupid. They look soft & doe-eyed. They make a sweet sound. But they are dumb as rocks! How many times do you have to land somewhere that you cannot balance before you realize you cannot balance? (apparently infinite number of times). How much bigger are you than say, a yellow finch .... so why do they scare you EVERY time they blink? I swear .... I can almost hear them say "duh" at times when they can't figure something out?!

From early Tuesday morning; There is something about this picture that warms me. I think it might be the richness of the plum sheering against the wet redwood fencing, and the serenity of the moment. No birds, no breeze, just ...... serenity. I like that at times. just me & the air that surrounds me- enveloping me in it's stillness and bringing along a peaceful feeling ....

x*#-&),?+@^=%!/;"$j .......

Oh, the insomniatic mind (?)
Whether it be the mental menu of things to do, the curiosity of what family members might be up to 48 hours from now (a poker game, a turkey sandwich perhaps), hopes of catching a glimpse of the full(ish) moon, or just the clucking & chatter that I can normally ignore or write off as a dream .... I have the propensity to do this with upcoming travel or emotional trauma, but I wasn't aware of either being on the table ... not that one would "plan" the trauma part. I had almost dozed off a second time when the Captain's phone chimmed - announcing a text message I think. But it's not as if it woke me ... it simply nudged me over the edge. That is, pushed me to the breaking point of getting up, rather than pretending I could go back to sleep. I know, with all reality, that if I am cognisent of the current time & temperature (from the projection on the ceiling) on more than 2 occassions .... I may as well get up for a little while. It's actually more of a rest for my brain anyway- to let the words, thoughts, blah-blah-blah flow out onto paper or cyberspace- rather than try to hush it. It's been the case since I was in high school. A poem, a creative writing idea, whatever .... would tap away at my brain. Sometimes, I would dream that I was writing things in my sleep, only to wake & find that it wasn't a dream after all. Let those creative juices flow I always say. Well, actually, I have never said it til now ... but I will from now on ... then "always" will be appropriate. Oh my gosh ... what if my insomnia is a result of guilt & shame for talking the Captain into putting up the Christmas lights today. What if I am being punished for my sacrilegious act of besting our neighbors in this endeavor! They must have been crushed to come home and finding our home looking like something out of a Thomas Kinkade holiday post card collection! (?) They too are probably lying awake at this hour .... perhaps sobbing into their pillows, anguished at the defeat. How could victory be sweet after such heinous behavior? Oh, who am I kidding .... I know for a fact that Danno is already planning his revenge! For all I know, he has already removed all the light bulbs from our festive display. And with the finish of this not-so-poetic rambling of mine .... I believe I feel a yawn coming on. nite-nite

the "light"man cometh ...

FIRST OFF- if you are having ANY trouble reading what's on the picture to the left- CLICK on the picture & it will come up loud & clear! You do NOT want to miss it's meaning or the victorious spirit currently held by the Captain & myself.

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sometimes, you have to take a stand ...... draw that line in the sand or put the block of wood on your shoulder & dare another to knock it off ... sometimes .... you have to drag your lazy tail out of bed to do things JUST to make a point. JUST for the principal of the matter.

Let me warn you ahead of time that if the O'Briens make some ridiculous claim that they are not decorating this year because of travel, financial reasons, or physical (or mental) limitations .... it's just an excuse!!! It was our opportunity to not only keep up with them ... but surpass their efforts. Huff & puff all you want Danno- we gotcha this time!

P.S. - YES, it feels good & YES, it's likely to be the one & only time we'll get away with this!!!

CONGRATS to Sirbil !!

TODAY was the big day for Pa ..... his trip to the DMV to renew his license. Once upon a time, that wouldn't have been a big deal- but now, with dozens of new laws involving alcohol consumption, & smoking, & cell phones.... well, let's just say that just knowing how to drive safely isn't enough! BUT YOU DID IT POPS! Even after arriving at the DMV to find all the computers crashed without any idea of what to expect next- you hung in there & waited ..... and took the situation in stride. Then You marched out with a triumphant smile on your face that, you confessed, was not used for the picture on you new ID. :o( Since getting a DMV appointment often means going out of town .... we made the best of it by doing a little shopping & having a dede-lightful supper afterward. With this obstacle behind us, it's time now to focus on Thanksgiving which, this time around, ALSO happens to be pop's birthday :o) This being his 87th .... I realize he's had plenty of practice by now but still- we don't want it to go unnoticed!! So we just might stick a candle in a pumpkin pancake for him !!

WOWEEEEEEEEE post #800 !!!

BEEN BUSY and still much to do .... however, duty calls and it's time to hit the grocery store (since the cow in the carton went dry)

and we have things on the burner for a birthday taking place this week as well. As you can see .... little kitty was looking for a new cubby hole for when she is in my design studio .... so I added a kitty mat for her comfort.

let's go jump in the puddles .... where are they?

with the newest storm arrival, it seemed appropriate to be in Seattle this morning! AND- having received a heads up on a pumpkin ginger pancake recipe ... but after the Captain was eating his cereal ... I adapted it a bit and made pumpkin biscuits instead!! ummm ummm yummylicious. Topped with a sprinkle of cinnamon, & pumpkin butter tucked inside- they were the cats pajamas (?)

Home (and mood) Improvement

NOTHING changes my mood (and the look of things) faster or cheaper than a coat of paint!!!! Since both were in need of a little updating ... I took the task on with optimistic expectations. The 1/2 wall that I painted paprika 2-3 years ago was washed away with a shade called brown sugar that we had already used on another wall in the room. LET ME insert here that it is my opinion that the people who name these colors are paid minimum wage & given a list of names to choose from. I have NEVER used any brown sugar that was this color! (But what a fun job if you could just make up your own huh? And not as fattening as tasting to name Ben & Jerry's ice cream)

It was an easy job to prepare for and not much to move outta the way- so I had no problem when the Captain stated that he had plenty of things of his own to accomplish. His only assignment was to start the first movie of the marathon I was planning. BELIEVE IT OR NOT- my choice was the set of "The Planet of the Apes"! I've seen them before (more than once) and I bought them myself.

I was already pleased at the onset, but when I got to the mantle ... I was tickled pink .... uh, I mean brown sugar! It really cleaned up the look (well, along with removing a few of the tchatchkes). It was a little chilly but with the sliders open, there was no fumes & since I was up & down & here & there ... I kept plenty warm anyway!
POPS showed up a couple of times to check things out & would watch a few minutes of the movie too.

Everything turned out as well as I had envisioned & hoped for ... well, except that in my dreams, the facing on the fireplace had changed too. ha! OMG what a messy job that will be someday. The prep, paint & semi-clean up took me thru 3+1/2 of the ape evolutionary tales ..... then I sat & munched popcorn for my lunch, while that one finished up. It was a perfect rest period and gave me an excuse to use my new air popper (thanks for the heads up Jules)



and OF COURSE even though my Captain always acts like he's going to disappear when I start this kind of project .... instead, he pulled the "art work" from the wall, re-positioned it's brackets, plugged & painted the evidence (and was watching the movies too). By dinner time, #5 was over & we were already watching #6 and afterward ... the evening ended with #7. A true marathon for the day ... without being lazy!

I have something to stew about-

Or rather I have some stew to do something about.

Upon hearing the forecast that we were to have a rainy weekend .... I made plans early in the week to make something hot & filling that I could throw together from scratch. Like my mother ... I can look into the refrigerator & pull out a dab of this & some leftover that and tah-dah, a casserole to feed an army. BUT today, I was a little more prepared with a lot of fresh items that I chopped, sliced, & chunked- & with the help of my slow cooker (the machine kind- not the Captain) .... we had the beefy aroma to enjoy for at least half the day. I think that is the key to the best of meals; after you smell it cooking for a few hours, you are so in the mood & hungry for it that you enjoy it more! With some good ole fashioned grilled cheese sandwiches to go along with it- our tummys are full & happy .... though the rain didn't show up as planned!! I'm not sure it counts as comfort food, but it sure was yummy.

soggy, noisy, puddling rain ..... (YAY)

transitional traditions

times change ....

so I guess it's inevitable that traditions do as well. For what seemed like the longest of times .... Thanksgiving was a 4 day event with numerous family members spending the entire time at my parent's home. Sleeping bags & blankets invaded the living room floor like a campsite. We would wake up to the aroma of roasting turkey that was already 2-3 hours into it baking journey. Pancakes, sausage & dirty eggs would be on the table within minutes of the first peek into the kitchen, where mom had been hibernating (probably) since around 4:30am. Her solitude now broken, she would scold us to "leave the cook alone" til she called us. By the time breakfast was done, so was all the prep work for the massive meal to take place late afternoon, with the exception of the ambrosia fruit salad that has been my contribution from the time I moved away from home. Once completed .... a gathering of adults (ONLY) would saddle up to the long, portable table that was residing in the family room ... to begin what was ultimately a poker marathon. From time to time- my sister Bev & I would go "to check" on the turkey ... which everyone knew meant we were stealing the crispy edges from the stuffing, that was peeking out at us from the bird. The oven door always squeaked as we opened & closed it. Mom, as if it were the first time ever, would demand that we close the door & not let all the heat out! And the smell .... ummmm .... just a few yards from where we sat, counting our chips after a winning hand. By 2pm ... still in the heat of Jacks or Better Progressive, trips to win (later names (JOBPTTW) .... we were ordered to "pick up our crap & get the table set" .... Everyone scrambled to find a cool whip bowl or ceramic container to scuttle their chips into for what would be continued late into the night once the feast was devoured. AND THEN .... like an angel descending upon our dining room table .... the delicacies arrived, colorful & fragrant. If you were already sitting at the table, you would try to divert your favorite dish in your direction. If you were still escorting food over, you might make a claim on a particular seat. It was a carpet of flavors. The beauty (and spoils) of the meal was that you could eat any item in any order you chose (and in any quantity for that matter). So if, for example, you were not a fan of winter vegetables, there was no reprimand as you passed them over your plate without partaking. It was likely that every bowl emptied, could easily be refilled, as the bounty was plentiful. If you asked for something to be passed, it would readily do so ...... after a "please, to me" was added to the request, UNLESS it was a homemade roll. The rolls were passed .... but with quarterback precision. Be ready to catch it- or duck- if you leaned into the line of fire! These were the days of pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce & potatoes made from scratch. (although there was a curious look from newcomers at the color of mashed wonders). It was before the invention of the green bean casserole, loaded potato bake, peanut butter pie, & Martha Stewart masterpieces. Those things came later .... beginning the year that Mom had surgery & we felt it was too much of an undertaking for her to host. Then it moved up the hill to Cindy's house, & after the first year of that .... mom realized the luxurious ease of just showing up with fresh rolls & a pumpkin pie! And a transition began. The handing off of recipes. The change-over of culinary power. And it's still doing so. Changes occur on a pretty regular basis now. Some for the better, some not so much. For me, we have lost a little bit of the holiday "feel" of things. Family members are harder to gather. The economy puts a crunch on expenses and there hasn't been a card game or pineapple chiffon pie for a few years. But there are memories & routines that I still hold close to my heart, and I will never forget those weekends with the family. The noise. The smells. The laughter. And the biggest change of all this year is that it is the first one without the matriarch. There will be no chopped nut toppings that we have longed teased her about. There will be no doggy-bag containers going off into her wing of the house. It's our biggest transition yet.

And with everyone growing up & out & busier than ever .... the Captain & I felt the need to start a new tradition of our own. This year, we will be delivering Thanksgiving meals on the eve of the holiday to those who might never have experienced some of the joyous ones that we've been lucky to have.

Times change ..... yes. But the spirit of love & sharing doesn't have to!!

hairballs & happy thoughts

on my way to the SanFrancisco Starbucks (cup), I passed 2 reasons for pause .... a Popoki hairball, & the last of the condolence bouquets received. The former was easily cleaned up & tossed away, the latter ... not so.

I sniffed about the still colorful arrangement, hoping for a late bloomer or hint of sweet aroma- and while there was very little .... I did find one stubborn cluster of carnations that somehow wanted to hang around another day or two. The weary, limp bouquet had been begging forgiveness of it's demise since yesterday, and today .... it wimpered enough to get my attention. This lovely gathering of blossoms started on the breakfast bar 9+ days ago because it's enormity precluded conversation at the dining room table. But once the stargazer lilies faded & were removed, the vase made it there. The white roses began to tire & the gathering was whittled down to a bouquet appropriate for my design table. It has resided there until today, when I removed all but some delicate heather-like stems, a few of the green pompoms, & the last remaining stem of "smelly" carnations. So here I sit, in my favorite room, surrounded by my favorite sights & sounds (kitty kats & Ella Fitzgerald), drinking my favorite latte flavor (pumpkin spice) ..... and pondering.

Life's ups & downs

If you have a heart beat & brain waves (regardless of how many) ... you've had your share of ups & downs in life. Most people will also agree that it is life's downs that truly give us the appreciation of the the ups. AND best of all- you don't have to have a down to match every up, if you learn from your mistakes or misfortune! As I posted previously ..... my life is a bowl of kumquats. SO ... in my case .... I am way past the ups & downs (for the most part) and now experience ins & outs .... or at least I did today.
The food kind. The brand spankin' new, smiling faced trainees, grand opening in AG where my beloved Sizzler used to be kind. The 400 calorie, 18 grams of fat kind. The kind that I have (always) been able to get exactly the way I WANT .... every time. The kind with grilled onions, lettuce, tomato & thousand island (ish) dressing. No pulling stuff off. No special ordering. Just my way. And as the saying that the Captain has recently adopted goes ...... "it tasted as good as I wanted it to!!"

I hope my toad has reverted back to a tadpole!!

Yesterday, my head felt like it was as big (and heavy) as a bowling ball. I slept in an extra hour, & landed back into bed a couple hours later & slept 3+ hours, & slept nearly another 2 hours while Ken was fixing dinner! Dayquil. allergy meds & Nyquil, along with a motrin & I hit the pillow at 10pm ready to sleep some more. BUT- I feel a lot better today & an early morning walk on the beach, trip to the pet store for "lizard food", quick stop at the grocery store, & some minor gardening & I am still upright. I see that as feeling a lot better, despite the persistant sinus headache. I want to hit the ground running with this retirement gig!

unfortunate 1 undeniable 2

I know people are already thinking about Thanksgiving menus and family gatherings & I know that also includes feeding the less fortunate .... perhaps by volunteering to deliver meals or working at a kitchen or even adding to the donation barrels outside of various grocery stores.

BUT, I must say I was still a little surprised to see that someone was so far ahead of the game that they had to have the first turkey leg!! Low & behold we found that the fowl on our flagpole had met with foul play!!!

THAT being the case .... a flag change is in order ... but before I head out to catch up on some chores .... let me share last night's sunset with you. It was the best yet (and the pictures do it far from justice) It was colorful & lasted a really long time. I wish I had thought to catch the quarter moon with the sky full of color a little sooner.

But you get the idea. Glass of wine, a few chips or crackers, & a great sunset .... it was a lanai evening indeed!

On Golden Pond

How lovely the title.
How touching the movie.
How hard it hits home.
I worry about dying. I worry that it will come too soon. Too soon for me. That is, too soon in my own eyes. If I should become seriously ill, or have a life threatening condition or disease & am in constant pain or suffering ... then it wouldn't, or couldn't be too soon but what if. I mean, in an accident or something .... too soon for all the happiness that I am enjoying & appreciating at this time in my life. Too soon to see my grandkids grow up. To see or realize what they will be or do with their lives. too soon. with too many things still on my bucket list!
And I wonder too .... about parenting. There have long been comments or jokes about the need for testing or certifying that someone is ready to parent. This, a job that compares to no other. A purpose in life that influences so many other things & people. And why is it, that so often people repeat the mistakes of their own parents when they vow not to? And the ultimate ... those who are responsible for bringing a child into the world but not taking the responsibility for the actual child. without guilt. without remorse. How fortunate it must be to not give it another thought. How interesting. How sad. How tragic. And, as one of those forgotten ones, how unfair to bear the burden of why. a fruitless task. a battle with one's self that cannot be won.
We can each watch On Golden Pond and come away with any one of a half dozen messages- depending on our own life experiences. If you're lucky, it would only be how fragile life is. Or it can be more .... much more.

Calgon arrived to take me away!

or in this case ..... April, Daddy, & brother Anthony arrived to "rescue" Addy from gramma's clutches. As much as I enjoyed the time with her ... I have to say, I gave up willingly. Cuz I need a nap!

We headed down to Shell Beach to get a few family pictures and just as one would figure .... if there are 4 people in the picture- then there is 4 times more likelihood that someone will be looking away, looking funny, or looking like they are asleep!! 60 taken .... 12 kept!

the power of curiosity

Curiosity may have killed a cat or two but it is QUITE a motivator when it comes to little people. Their minds are wide open & ready for new words or experiences. They look around the world with such wonderment, and shriek (ouch) with joy. Give them the opportunity (and the outlet) and they will learn something everyday. Even more important ... they will love it. The time & the attention is worth it ..... cuz at the end of the day you hear that little voice say "I wuv you damma"

aaaaaaahhh .... I'm turning into my mother!

(and if you are familiar with the Chenille Sister's song of that subject, you have already had a chuckle!!)
TODAY .... I was making something from scratch and I just threw in some of this and some of that, along with the kitchen sink. Then I was working on a Tshirt that I failed to get a stain out of- so I ended up making a little doo-dad on it with some embroidery thread to cover it up. A while later, my grand-daughter Addy asked me if she could have ANOTHER something and I told her "not right now". When she asked why, I told her "because gramma said so". I even found a stash of creamer cups that I grabbed from the continental breakfast cart when we last stayed at Best Western. It seemed that I was finding evidence of being my mother's daughter at every turn.

what was I NOT thinking??!!!

I can't believe that I just spent hours with my nephew, niece & grand-niece Delaney and I didn't take a single picture!!!!! I guess my camera is not an extra appendage! (but why this time?!) OILWELL

all about Addy Day (it comes right after Veteran's Day)

the "kid" and I had an great outing today. A little girly shopping ... and a lot of running around at the park!

but such activity & momentum .... comes with a price. The little missy was sawing logs by 6:55 tonight!

to all the AMERICAN service people- I salute

THANKS PA - it's people like you that make this country a wonderful place to live. I only wish there were more "proud" Americans and less demanding & complaining ones. Perhaps if they walked a mile in your shoes .... they would be more appreciative of what they have AND more supportive of the men & women that work & fight to keeps those things available to them.

Be proud, Be a R-E-A-L American!!

cheers for working moms EVERYWHERE

ahhhhhhhhhhh .... the peace & quiet of the evening (and the joy of a munchkin that crashes in due time). I cannot count the number of times I broke out in a laugh over something this mini princess said or asked me ..... I cannot count the number of times I heard the word damma (gramma). I cannot count the number of times I figured out what she asked or told me last, when she had ALREADY moved onto the next thing. I cannot count the number of times I told her not to run or not to look for the kittys. I must have answered the same questions a dozen times or so and I wondered if she was trying to #1 catch me in a fib, or #2 was waiting for me to give her the answer she wanted! She is a clever (and stubborn) young thing. Her big eyes and toothy smile are heart engaging, but she will turn on a dime when she's tired -so the key is get what needs to be done before that happens! She doesn't eat much, but she sure eats often! Thankfully there are a lot of healthy things you can talk her into snacking on. AND- when she is ready for bed, she climbs into it on her own, and is off to la-la land in seconds. (woo hoo)
I CAN tell you that I realized many times during each of these past 3 days how much w-o-r-k it is being a mom. I don't remember it being this exhausting. Perhaps it's the 30 year age difference!!!

A gray day with colorful results ....

At first glance - you might think this picture is black & white. Today was gray-toned off & on most of the day. I don't know that the sun was out long enough to charge up any of our solar lites- BUT, with the wind bringing in chilly air as well, it meant the park with Addy was a no-go.

SOOOO .... with lots of paper scraps & crayons & tape (and patience) .... the little tyke was creating masterpieces of her own, while I was designing a few thank you notes.

at 6:20 this morning ..... mom tiptoed across my heart

early this morning .... a warm little body, dressed in flannel, Tinkerbell pajamas, & smelling of coconut bubble bath .... crawled into bed with me. She whispered into my ear that she had just seen the white hitty hat (kitty cat) and snuggled in closer to share more of the adventures between her bed & mine. It's amazing how much excitment can take place in about 40 feet of space! Laying there next to her .... almost dozing off between sentences, was a sweet reminder of those times with my own baby boys ... WAY TOO MANY years ago. At one point she scooted off the bed to see if the hitty hat was still in the closet, tip-toeing in an Charlie Chaplin, silent movie sort of way. Then she turned on her heels and ran back to the bed & wiggled in next to me. The next thing I knew, she slid her hand into mine and I found myself thinking about my mom and how this must have felt to her once upon a time. This tiny, soft, little, mini nail painted paw of my granddaughter closing onto mine was a precious moment in my heart.

On the "hitty hat" front .... they have lowered the red threat to yellow so far. Addy is trying to be patient, but it's not easy for a 3 year old!! Monkey is being the bravest (or nosiest as the case may be) .... coming as close as 4 feet, as long as there is no sudden movements or noises. BUT ONLY to look (study?) At this moment, she is laying on the floor by my feet- just around the corner from Addy who is engrossed in a Scooby Doo cartoon. When our little guest is asleep .... BOTH cats are plenty brave!

we have a surprise visitor!

Miss Addy arrived this afternoon, and she's going to hang out with us for a few days!

HOW MANY DAYS ? (you ask)

well .... until she gets tired of us, or we get exhausted from chasing after her!! ha-ha

November got a jump on all of us!

Since November sneaked onto the scene in a lot of lives recently without our opinion, or preference or even our notice ... I decided I would sneak in an extra blog banner change as well. THIS ONE will be posting in the next day or two.

a funny thing happened on my way thru the buffet line

OK, so it wasn't really a buffet- but then, it wasn't actually funny at the very moment of impact either .... but that doesn't make for a catchy title now does it??
anywhooooo The fact of the matter is, things are NOT always funny at the time they take place, but later..... and sometimes more comical yet when they are described by those around the unintended victim!!
Picture this- plate in hand ... sight on salad! Umm, looks yummy. OMG there's even some salami in it, cheese, tomatoes, a little cheese ... wow, I gotta get me some of this! Fork? check. Napkin? check. Dressing? hmmmm Hidden Valley Ranch? no. ooo, oooo italian, YUM. grab it. shake it. close eyes before the big globs that are attacking you land. ooops, too late. Stand there, eyes closed, people clammering to find a cloth or rag. OMG here, OMG there. One eye open, make your way to the bathroom. rinse. wring out. rinse. sniff. rinse some more. blow dry. sniff. give up. resolve. shrug. accept. rejoin.
THEN comes the comments about the walking salad, the snubs by those who don't care for the smell of basil, the nephew pretending to pick things from my hair to munch on! HA. BUT, as usual, there was an upside to my frantic flailing flicks too ..... my sister thanked me for marinating her piece of chicken, & my son appreciated me oiling his leather loafers! So there you go- dinner & a movie!!

DeDe comforts

and so ..... arriving home today after a lot of coming & going (and not knowing which we are doing at times), foreign beds & pull out couches, late nights, early mornings, less than healthy foods or quantities- with legitimate reasons for indulging.... we are back where we are most comforted. most secure. most serene.
We were welcomed by rain, which I love. It quiets the traffic, cleans the streets, & puts a shine on everything. And best of all .... the sound. swishes & taps in sheets or subtle coverage. It fills up my rain barrel, making it's own kind of music that is lyrical to my mood. I have candles burning & already laid my gown & Kindle upon my squishy pillow- knowing there is a REALLY COMFORTABLE bed that is ready for me, no matter what time I decide to take it up on it. And kitty kats around my legs whenever I am still long enough, waiting for a pat on the head or a tug of the tail. And- with little delay, a trip for me next door. "I'll be back in a minute Captain, I'm going over to see Julie-Gulia." I didn't look at his reaction, but I'm sure I know what he was thinking. And sure enough, I was over there for well over an hour. Getting my hugs, my verbal moral support, and my girl talk "fix". It's wonderful that it's only a few yards away almost any time I need it!!
Tomorrow .... well tomorrow will be a new day for each of us. New routines for dad (and Cindy & Richard). New ways of looking at our family gatherings. Not better. Just new. ILYM..... & I miss you.

blustery, blubery, & belly bustin' weekend

This weekend .... we gathered up our courage, along with many friends & family members to pay tribute to my mom. With everything happening so suddenly ... it was nearly a miracle that it turned out absolutely wonderful. 13 days after she went into the hospital, 6 days since she took her last breath & an eternity until we will stop missing her ......
It was a blustery day, and the leaves (where mom & dad used to live) clattered across the lawn like little soldiers heading to the mess hall. Sometimes, they would tendril up like little dust devils and explode into a flutter of autumn colored snowflakes. I sat at the edge of the front porch trying to somehow catch it's frolic thru my lens, but eventually, I just relaxed & enjoyed nature's performance.

Mom's memorial was well planned & the church was full of people who cared about & knew her well. There were faces I'd not seen in many years, and I was sitting on a pew that had not seen my fanny for over 20 years! The flowers, gifted by many, were boutiful bouquets of rich harvest colors, baskets full of pinks & purples, and jewel toned live azaleas & lilies. It was beautiful. The ceremony was not without tears of course, but it was accompanied by stories of Mom .... her loving ways, her supersticious routines, her habits- so engrained in each of us.

And afterward- when we were able to let our hair down, take off the high heels, loosen the neckties, & put away the hankies ..... we spent time with each other ... just like the usual family gatherings with us. Full of food. Full of laughter. Full of "say cheeses".

This is a typical grouping at holidays. Lisa, Cindy, Dionna, Me, & Lindy. Looking like adults, not always acting like it ..... throwing out events & memories into the conversation .... moments so vivid you would think they took place a month ago! I wish I had a picture at my fingertips of us on a typical camping trip or family outing of 40+ years ago. THAT would give you a laugh!!! (yeh ... I know .... you're looking at this picture trying to figure out who could possibly be that old right??!!)

so to you Mom .... I gotta say, we done you proud!! You would have loved all the goodies cooked up (although you would have been telling Pa "no to this" & "not so much of that", & filled a container or two of leftovers so you wouldn't have to cook for a few days.) AND JUST LIKE YOU WOULD DO- Cindy sent home care packages of food with Terry & Garrett! There was much laughter & much-er love. AND ..... you were with us ..... as you will always be. ILYM

you CAN go home again ....

I am sitting here this morning in my parents' kitchen, at my granny's oak table (I was with her when she searched high & low at used furniture stores to find the right one- many, Many, MANY years ago) ..... only it's not my parents' home or granny's table anymore .... it belongs to my first born, Terry. Amazingly, ironically, 7-8 years ago, when the family was gathered here for Thanksgiving, a joke came about that soon had many of us putting sticky notes on various items about the house. Personally, I put my one & only note on a stainless steel, penguin rimmed, ice bucket. The idea of it all was that it would help mom & dad to remember what items should go to what people in the event of their demise. Over the years, these items have, indeed, migrated to the noted recipients. (by purchase or otherwise) And Terry .... well he put his sticky note on the door jam of this very house!! Many changes have occurred since they bought the house brand, spanking, new in 1966.... but it still feels like home. Of course whenever I am in the presence of family .... it always feels like home. It always feels like it was "just yesterday". I love my family. I love their forgiving, accepting, comical ways. So- here & now, I not only am sitting at the "old" table, in my "old" home, but in wait of my breakfast now being cooked by the new generation that owns it.

more of an eye-ful than expected

We stopped in small town USA to grab some lunch. it was a busy little spot since it wasn't long after noon. sitting there waiting for the capt to return with our food .... I was, as usual, people watching. to my right a teenager with fashion issues....well in my opinion of course. black skinny t-shirt with another shirt bunched up beneath it. stringy, elastic bands of many colors enveloped both wrists, & on the right encroaching all the way to his elbow. a fuzzy wuzzy black stocking cap pulled low to the brow with a mop of equally fuzzy overly dyed, flat black hair billowing out along the edges like fringe. his thick, dark , plastic eyeglass frames were small and heavy, but I could still see his squinty sleep deprived eyes that he kept glued to his cell phone.... even when he went to the restroom.
at the next table sat a lady wearing a great, over the top halloween hooker costume... only she probably wasn't one.... and she was at least in her mid seventies. she must not have the dexterity to hold a mirror up to look at the back of her hair or she would surly have put some effort into covering up her major case of pillow hair and an inch plus of gray growth since her last dye job. I haven't seen so much sparkle and shine since the Sweet Adeline convention last year. her black nylons were interupted with a pair of silver leggings with sparkly threads running thru them that caught the light. they were gathered at the ankles just above a pair of shiney gray sandles with rhinestone buckles. she wore a black blazer, which she partnered with a gathered, pleather skirt in a print of white, gray and black circles and loops, and a shell or tank top that was edged with tassles and charms that made noise when she moved. her wrists, neckline and lobes were adorned with large pieces of turquoise jewelry. nothing but the glitzy sunglasses she never removed, would have been more appropriate to finish off her ... ensamble. the amusement gained from just these two customers was pure entertainment. I almost forgot to eat.

sunrise over the O'Briens

Sunrise here can be quite lovely ..... but it's ironic that I should indicate the sunrise over the O'Briens house, since lately (and not uncommonly) .... they have been the sunshine at our place. Little gifts, lots of help, huge doses of hugs. They are very special friends in our lives.

Just as amazing (and equally as lovely) is the beauty I find in a cala lily. I have a lot of them because I find them elegant & classic and LONG LASTING! In this morning's light .... I also found it irresistable!

letters sent & unsent

I wrote 4 letters yesterday
I mailed one
I decorated one
I tucked away 2
I mailed a letter to someone I had not heard from on over 20 years (much less seen). It was a hard letter to write. It took a lot longer than I expected because in the middle of a sentence I would pause .... or rather my mind would. Trying to figure out what to say & how to say it. This was to someone I loved very much. I use the word in past tense, simply, because I don't know them anymore .... but I know I still care. I always have. We have a history.
Then I wrote a letter to my dad. He is not my birth father .... but he is my dad. He is the one who protected me, scolded me, hugged me hard & sang with me. The fact that he didn't come into my life til I was nearly 11 is unfortunate .... but he has always loved me as his own.
I wrote a letter to each of my sons. Letters to be tucked away for another time. Things I may have said that I don't remember.... things that can never be said too much. Things I needed to make sure I put on paper right now. Before I forget. Before I get too busy. Before more of life passes.

I wrote. I composed. I created. I cried. And then I wrote some more.
Nothing should go unsaid between people who love each other, unless there is no benefit. If it is likely to change a relationship without the discussion. If the other party will be hurt in some way by not knowing. If there is any chance of misunderstanding if the discussion does not take place .... Then talk. or write. "They" say that confession is good for the soul- but I say who's soul? If the words uttered are just to make the speaker feel cleansed, then keep it to yourself. BUT IF the words are to explain, or heal, or understand better .... then let those words flow freely without consequence. Use your voice. Love will grow stronger.

I ate a worm today

for breakfast
not an ordinary worm
although this one was not particularly special
just a red & yellow worm
it was a gummy worm.

oh .... and I ate the dirt that surrounded it too.

surrounded but alone .... in my thoughts

this is me.
in my first life.
in the life that is full of holes.
spotty memories.
surrounded by struggles & emotional tug-o-wars








This is my mom
(and me)
This is what I see as my mom's first life.
It too .... for a number of years was full of turmoil & struggle, but I can't speak for her .....
maybe she thought it was worth it.
from what little I know, it's hard to believe, but maybe she thought so.
I am a product of my mom's first life-
the life that I'm pretty sure wasn't so happy. a life when she still had her parents ... and I still had mine. (and a couple of brothers)
I'm now in my 2nd life. (thankfully) This is the good one. My mom also had a 2nd life that was really good. Sure- some difficult times. Some sad times. But mostly good times. MOSTLY things she could do something about if she wanted to change them.... like my 2nd life.
But her 2nd life has just ended .....
with luck (or belief), she has gone to a good place .... not really another life. More like a new place to continue spending more time with this 2nd life that's been so much better than the first life. and yes .... I realize I'm rambling. my mind is rambling. my thoughts are rambling.
..........
today was different than yesterday .... in my thoughts .... I feel solitary. I feel abandoned. I feel a bit like an orphan. Because the memories that take me to the places in these pictures- aren't shared by anyone else. Mom is gone. nearly everything is gone from my first life. except the memories. That which is not gone .... is absent. leaving me .... alone



There is a "gray area" between mom's first life & her 2nd life. the time when my brothers Steve & Mike, and I crossed over with her .... but then Steve was gone and Mike crossed back.
leaving me.
yes- we were all adults by then but no matter our age (or state of mind) we are always someone's children.


So here I am tonight ... feeling like the left over from the first life & not really acknowledged in the 2nd. just a feeling, mind you- not a reality. I know that. feeling like I've had a few parents, but I'm nobody's child.
odd
death makes me think too much
too deep
too, too much