FLUTTERBIES

IT WAS PERF!! It was truly a beau-timous day & the butterflies were in full bloom. Best number since '05 and you can really tell this time. They were VERY active & even though the area is taped off and you can't get as close as you may want, it was still awesome!! I have only glanced at them so far, I'm Excited to share too. Check 'em out. I hope to get back over there before the weather cools for some additional shots, but if not- I am sure happy about seeing them today.

They were beautiful. (and it followed a picnic at the beach on a sunny & warm day here -probably about 75). Life is good. Tomorrow, I have some gardening to do andthat always prompts some flower pictures. I just click, click, click (don't ya just love the digital camera?!) We'll see what tomorrow brings!

it's the weekend ....... YIPPEE

Thursday was cancelled due to brain failure!

I can usually think of a dozen "things" I have to say .... (and blog) when I get home. However, once I got home yesterday, I could only remember my Captain surprising me at work at lunch time (it's a 50 minute ride on his mototrcycle to get there) ... and my little kitty (just a name, not a description) greeting me with her tiny squeak when I came home. She only squeaks, & not routinely ...her meow-er is broken. All else was muushed up (yes I said muused) in my brain from the cold meds I am taking. No wonder artists don't like being on lithium ..... it dulls the creative juices!!!
HOWEVER, I am totally stoked over our planned outing to check out our monarch population when I get off work this afternoon (1/2 day). The temps predicted are optimum for activity & volume. YAY I am hoping to get some awesome camera shots to share , so wish me luck!! fwidaa, fwidaa, fwidaa is my favowit day

Thank my Captain (and all the fish at sea)

This has been a great day. I don't have enough fingers & toes to count up the number of phone calls, texts, emails, ecards, Hallmark cards, & Happy Birthday wishes I was blessed with today. I don't need a lot of fanfare or attention to know I am loved .... I am reminded of it in many ways nearly every day. Dinner was a bucket of Jonas crab dumped on the table and it was a load of fun. Being surrounded by people you love and appreciate is such an upper. I wish I could hug every one of you!!

I am 39 (really)

I am 39 today .... well to be more accurate, I am 39 for the 17th time. I considered being 49 for the 7th time but that just didn't sound right. I figure I can continue to repeat at 39 until I get it totally right. And since each additional year at 39 as pretty much been better than the last- it's a good trend for me. I can get a way with it until April of 2014 ..... when my son turns 39 himself! The number has never been a big deal for me (like others who shall remain nameless) but the fact that as it gets higher .... the BEST HALF of my life gets shorter. That's the number I don't like to think about! I do admit that the 5-0 was a bit difficult to swallow once upon a time. My Captain wanted to make a big noise about it and I warned him that the ONLY place I wanted to see that number would be on a diamond certificate. This statement proved to be the catalyst for my friend who presented me with 50 CARROTS wrapped up nicely in a jewelry box the next day!!
So without much ta-doo (I hope), I shall get on with my day knowing that to the rest of the world .... this is just another Wednesday. I have patients to see and tests to perform (although dinner "out" is a given :o)

8 babies might be 9 babies too many ?!

YIKES- imagine your surprise if you were told you were carrying multiples. Shock enough if it were two or three. BUT I do believe it would require a straight jacket or (possibly) prozac 24-7. The news person stated that there was no indication as to whether it was a result of fertility drugs ..... (duh). AND with 46 doctors & nurses in the delivery room, I can only imagine the hospital bill for that one!? I doooo hope that they planned ahead for the possibility of this happening. I fully understand that sometime people will go to great lengths to have "their own" child, but hopefully not at the expense in many other ways. It cannot be easy to give the time & attn a healthy, well rounded child requires .... when you have that many at once. WOW. My mom once claimed that at the time she was delivering twins- she told the attending MD "if you pull out another one, you're keeping it" (she didn't even know she was carrying more than one!!) I was 11 at the time so I was part of the whole process up front & personal. Months later, when my parents would go out for the evening, they were STILL a handfull ..... so 4X more is just unimaginable! Now that I think about it those two are STILL A HANDFULL!!!!! Gotta hand it to anyone who doesn't it well. Perhaps having family back up is the key I think. (OMG, support $$$$$$$) but enough on the money front .... too much time, too little money anyway. I am just happy that I am one day closer to the weekend :o)

yesterday at this time it was 3 hours ealier!!

YUP, just as I predicted there were not enough hours in my Monday. Can't really complain since I wasn't at the office ..... but still, I could have sworn yesterday was longer! But my plan was (after the DMV) to do a page or two of scrapping. UNFORTUNATELY, I got a new toy and between the Captain & myself, we played with it for a while- leaving less time for the 2 loads of laundry & stack of magazines to be sorted- which were more of priority. Along the way, I did clean out 2 BIG drawers that have accumulated all sorts of samples & mini sized things (not to mention odds & ends of all sorts). I filled up a grocery bag!! SO, I feel productive, but sad that it means it will be another 4-5 days before I get a chance to really play. My cold had the best of me the last 2 days so I slept more tan usual. bummer During the week, I get home around 6pm and between dinner & time with the boys (Dad & the Captain) ..... I don't like to get all my stuff out (cuz boy do I like to spread things out). oh ... and the toy I got was a program that brings your photo up in black & white, then brings the original color back into ONLY the areas or items you paintbrush over. It is too, too fun.
I had a mental visit with Ma this afternoon. I was in the orchid garden (they used to be mom's) Nearly all of the 16+ plants have blooms. So I had a quiet little chat with her. AND I vased some of the stems, so our conversation will probably continue from day to day when I add water to them! Well, the guys are settling in with a war movie- so I am going to take a bubble bath (yay) with my People magazine or a sudoku puzzle. If you are reading any of this, it means you made it thru your Monday, making you one days closer to a sunny weekend up ahead.

Monday, Monday ... can't trust that day

as the Mama's & Papa's once sang .....
I find Monday (being my 2nd Sunday of each week) to be short on hours. Much like most people find on a typical day before returning to work. My "toad" seems primarily confined to my head and not any worse than yesterday so I am planning for today to be more productive. I have been working (or trying to) on my kitty kat scrapbook. It is probably more like a coffee table book in comparison to my sister's talents- but it has it's moments here and there. When LouLou learns something, it sticks! For me .... I gotta do it & do it& and then not wait for a month to try & remember how to do it! In fact, now that I think of it - I am not sure there is anything I do better than LouLou or anything that I do that she doesn't! hmmmmmm. She is the "go to" girl and I love that :o)
speaking of the mama's & the papa's the isssssssssss something I can do that LouLou can't (trust me on this) and that is carry a tune. In fact (related to the M&P group) I was in a group that sang some of their songs when I was in high school. I remember Jan & Mark, but now I can't remember who the other guy was ... maybe Larry ?! Jan & Mark went on to get married, then unmarried. Their son & my oldest were close friends in school as well. I saw Mark on TV once in the back up band for someone (country I think) but that was long ago in another lifetime. There's some gaps missing in my mind. Not like when I was really Young .... there are blocks of time missing from then - but just stuff I don't remember all that well. Must not have been "defining" moments or "pivotal" points (or they were and THAT'S why I blocked them!) Once, on a road trip - LouLou was singing along with the radio & havin' a good ole time doing it .... and I asked her if through her ears, did it sound to her that she was on the same note as the singer. She said yes. I laughed out loud. THAT explains some of the people who show up to audition for American Idol. HA and on that note ...... I am off to the DMV to renew my license. LAST time (about 14 years ago or so) my picture looked sort of like Mary Hart (well ..... ok, you sort of have to wiggle it back & forth a Little to think so) - wonder who I will look like this time??

music of the heart (or not)

I was so nervous that I had to remind myself to breathe more than once. I couldn't sit down. I couldn't focus mentally or visually for more than a moment or so. I could feel my own heartbeat. My tongue felt like a block of cotton gauze the size of Texas ....... and my feet were killing me.
It was great.
What now seems like a decade ago, I was standing on a stage- wondering what the first note was, wondering what the first word was, wondering if the audience could see the quiver of my uppoer lip and then it ended. And I wanted "overs". N ext time around I would do this, I would do that. And I did. And it was even more exciting. I had (almost) lined those butterflies (in my stomach) into the right formation. I used some of the nerves for energy. I CERTAINLY used some of it for courage. And it was great too.
Then came the situation (for lack of a better word I suppose)
Then came mom's passing.
And the music in my heart was gone.
I didn't look for it for quite a while after that. But when I did, I couldn't find it. I couldn't even find the motivation to try harder. Ocassionally now, I almost feel it. Once in a great while. And I want to find it (I think) I can remember the great joy it brought into my life. But sometimes it is overshadowed by memories of "the situation" and I fill my days with other things that leave no time for looking again. And my life is plenty full without it- that's for sure. It would complicate schedules, involve travel, money, reorganizing a lot of things. But .......
I tell myself (when I allow myself to think about it) it will come back when it's the right time. Afterall, I think that is when it showed up before ??! AND HOW I DO BELIEVE that timing is everything (except for location, location, location) So maybe I will wait a little longer. Or not.

hope I don't get a wart from this "toad" in my nose !

shall we play good news/bad news? (and which one do YOU usually ask for first?) the good news; we are home (yay), bad news; I brought a cold with me. the good news; the kitty kats are VERY glad we are home. the bad news; they want to sit on my lap constantly and it's really difficult to get things done that way. the good news; all the flowers in my yard are blooming. the bad news; they have been blooming for nearly a week already. the good news; I got a notice that my DL has been extended. the bad news; now I have to decide what number to put in the "weight" box! the good news we got some rain here at home. the bad news; it looks like it's over. the good news; I could come up with lots more good news. the bad news; the dryer is signaling that clothes need folding! HA-HA And I need another actifed :o) ah-choo !!!

homeward bound (the human version)

this is, in some sense of the meaning, a remake of the original Homeward Bound movie you might say. We manage to find our way home, no matter how far away we wander. The Captain has found his way home from Finland & Italy. I haven't left the United States myself- so it hasn't been such a issue for me! And by all means- given the seriousness of my directionaly challenge-ation .... that is sayin a lot. Admittedly, "finding" my way home used even prompt an ocassional panic attack (if I was by myself) I have absolutely NO sense of direction. THUS, when I received my GPS last year for my birthday, it shaved 5 years off my life. This toy, along with the espresso maker I got from one of my sons a few years back, has been the mostest used gift ever. (okay, not counting my laptop or camera I guess) ..... but here I go AGAIN ..... diversing from the subject of GOING HOME !!!!! I do soooooooooooooo love going back home after a trip (or even an outing for that matter) If there is such thing as a "soul house" then this is MINE. It brings me such serenity & comfort. It's me :o) NOT TO MENTION returning to my kitty kats! Poki will "act" like he didn't notice we were gone .... but then he won't let us out of his sight for more than a few minutes at a time. Monkey (who showed how upset she was with our departure even BEFORE we left), will be totally attached- sometimes even to the point of not taking a nap for an entire day so she can constantly follow me and be in the same room! They are a GREAT welcoming committee indeed. So- short trip, long trip .... no matter, it's the return that is almost the best part of it. I USUALLY tell the Captain about now (before it all happens), "in case I forget to tell you later ..... thank you for bringing me home" for that matter my Captain, thanking you for making this my home!!

ET, I want to go home !!

there is a time to relax and forget what the time is and what the date is and do without a schedule ..... and there is a time to DO THIS FROM HOME!! I dooooo get to do this pretty routinely. MORE routinely would be even better (duh) I generally am a morning person- so my sleep shirt will not like display the "I don't do mornings" theme .... but I do like it when I don't bother to get out of my PJ's all day long. I do like it when I have coffee off & on throughout the entire day. I do like it when I get around to eating whenever I get around to it and not because of what time it is or how much time I have to do it!! (but then, maybe I would appreciate it as much??!!)

The Captain and I had a conversation this morning about his preference for immediate gratification VS my choice (mostly) of delayed gratification. I have NO BOUBT Dr Phil or Dr Laura would have a LOT to say about it. If the Captain sees something and he wants it- he gets it. THEN he decides if he r-e-a-l-l-y wants it (and will take it back if he decides he doesn't) I "want" something for a while so that I can decide if I r-e-a-l-l-y want it. I often decide I don't need something bad enough to want it ..... the Captain says there is little or no difference between want & need. I used to DRIVE MY FRIEND NUTS when she would (for example) give me a truffle in it's cute little box as a treat or thank you ..... and I would sit it atop my desk or somewhere visable and days (sometimes weeks) later she would see it and ask why I kept the box. When I would tell her that the truffle is still in it she could not grasp the concept that by seeing it there, & knowing I could have it "any time I want" - I could enjoy it far longer than if I popped it into my mouth. AND THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME to mention that I am often enamored by a container or wrap. I love a clever or cute "cover up" on a gift. I often use them elsewhere and then ..... it reminds me of what I got!!

CAN YOU SEE how far off the "going home" subject I got??!! So common for me to do. I guess I will just save the rest for another blog-ette. I am going to pack now ... then I will feel like it is time to go home sooner.

I neeeeeeeeeeed to read ....

ahhhh .... the sweet silence that allows me to read. I brought a couple of books I WANTED to get read on this getaway. The only reason they had not collected dust already was because I kept moving the 2 of them around my craft room every day. I was afraid to put them away- or I would forget to bring them on this trip. anyway - I am the type of reader that ONLY picks up a book to read if I am in the mood and environment to be able to get it done in a couple of days. The first I opened up was novel written by the spouse of someone I used to be close friends with. It was a story that I knew part of but had never heard in it's entirety. On the cover (Aloha Arizona), it states that it is inspired by a true story. I found it a little difficult to motivate myself to continue thru it- as there were parts that made the characters (that I thought I was well acquainted with), seem so different than as I know them. I think maybe it's just difficult reading about people you actually know. It was a fast read, and I am glad that I did so- as I purchased the book out of friendship and felt it was a given. I commend anyone taking on such a daunting task, and I do know they put a lot into it. The other book, which I just finished, was recommended by a couple of people in passing, and I also over-heard a couple of conversations about it. "The Shack" was ..... interesting. The main part of the book (which probably is more than half the book) brings the character face to face with God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit. Although I got into it, I still found it difficult to understand a lot of it. BUT, I felt like I wanted to hold up my hand to ask the teacher questions. There are many things raised here that I have wondered about but once again, like I student- some of it was "over my head". Sadly, I got to the point in couple of spots where I had to skim. However, having finished it earlier today, my mind wanders back to some of what I read every once in a while and I like that. For our travel home tomorrow, I am going to a People magazine so I don't take the whole traffic thing too seriously! The Captain has promised me a stop at Starbucks so I have already packed!!

The friendship highway of life

As a youngster, I was friendly- as were those to me, but I did not have a best friend (that I can recall) If my memory serves me correctly- we seemed to move a lot and that may have contributed. I don’t remember being lonely or ostracized in any way. I was a little quiet & shy perhaps (some might find that hard to believe now) but I must have blended in well. I was a cute little thing from what I can see from the few pictures available to me. Blonde curls and big, round green eyes. Pretty normal. I got a little “fluffy” along the way but nothing that prompted being made fun of (although maybe I blocked that part out?!). When I was around 11, my mom married my dad (that is … the man that has truly become my father) and life settled into long term residence- thus I had my first experience at real friendship. Her name was Sheila. We would walk home from school together- even though it required me NOT taking the bus & walking far further than she. Sheila seemed to have a life full of drama and perhaps that is what drew her to me. Her life was different than mine. Bigger house, mom home all the time, pretty, new clothes all the time. And yet, she was the one with so much to talk about, so much to worry or think about. I just “lived” my life. I didn’t give it much thought, but I think (now) that it was a source of entertainment for me. After a couple of years of being almost inseparable, we were in high school and she migrated to the group of privileged kids as far as who she would “run around” with while on campus, but I was still the one who she would hang out with for extra-curricular activities. She was a different personality with them than she was with me. I think being with them was more work for her, so she could “rest” with me. I didn’t care (I probably didn’t even know). As I remember high school, I was friends with every level of “class”. From the chess clubbers, to the cheerleaders, etc. I suppose it was because I wasn’t a threat to any of them. Not smart enough to challenge, not pretty (or trim) enough to compete. Eventually, she lost interest in our friendship but in the meantime, I met Nancy. Talk about kindred spirits- we were fast friends from the get-go. Similar home life & responsibilities & approach to school & grades (honor roll) I always thought she was so much prettier than I and found many years later that she would say the same about me! Low & behold, the summer of our junior year- their family moved away. We corresponded for a while, even travelled to visit each other- but with time (as is so often the case) lost contact. Now don’t feel sorry for me. I DID HAVE lots of friends in high school. LOTS. But there are friends and there are friends.
The friendships we develop as adults are forged differently. We have experience & knowledge behind us by then (hopefully) By the time I was a young adult, most of my friends were ½ of a couple and a few years older than I. There was less in common. In my 30’s, I found real common ground with my younger sisters (which only grows stronger with time) But the MOST PRECIOUS friendship I have in my life (besides my sisters) didn’t begin until I became a mature adult (I hesitate to indicate that by age, as the number seems so much higher than I “feel”) anyway- this smart, funny, talented, adorable woman was a gift that keeps on giving. We caught on quickly and are as close now as the first time we roomed together for an outing (even with some miles between us) We know each other inside and out, good & bad habits, weaknesses and strengths and love each other all the more because of them. I can share anything with her & she returns the honor. We have friends in common and confidence, but it’s not quite the same (to me) as what we share. ALTHOUGH I have to mention our tri-pod “third” leg (Smurf) she is the bread to our PB&J, and we have had some amazing adventures together. We have talked a lot about keeping the fires burning forever and I do hope that will be the case. I guess what I am thinking is that (much like my union with the Captain), I practiced until I got it with right with these two gals. LuLu- you have a place in my heart that no one else has held and I know that will always be the case. I feel very lucky to have experienced these friendships in particular because they have shown me what TRUE friendship is. No judgment or manipulation or ulterior motive. Just open, fresh honestly & compassion! YAY for me. (and thank you both)

coffee ..... the sweet elixer of life !

I LOVE the aroma of coffee. Even in it's most unworthy form (totally black)- it smells delicious. My relationship with coffee began rather unromatically. I was working in an office that, during chilly/cold weather would feel frigid when opened up for the work day (which before long became my regular routine). The the salt pans seemed to heat up rather quickly, and after commenting once about the cold building, someone pointed out to me that if you set the thermostat on the heater first, then start up a pot of coffee, then turn on the salt pans, then the salt pan is hot when the coffee finishes and you can warm your hands over the pan & keep your cup of joe hot by burying the cup into it by an inch or so. Problem was- I didn't like the bitterness of the coffee. I did it a time or two out of desperation- but one day while hunting for the container of coffee, I found a packet of hot chocolate mix so I ran water thru the pot (before the days of a microwave in every office) .... then one day all I had was a portion of a chocolate packet so I made a short cup, then the coffee, then I put the chocolate IN the coffee and tah-dah .... I had my first mocha (and actually enjoyed the flavor of the coffee) The rest is history. The brand doesn't make a big difference to me, nor does the flavor. It all comes down to "my" concoction of additives that make it that perfect consumptionable mug of coffee! I admit without embarassment that I am a fru-fru coffee consumer (I am the same with alcohol) AND, I might add- that the vessel in which I partake of my brew is of some importance as well. I dooooo love a fun cup style or design. No thick sides if you please. So, as you can see I am not a purest in any sense of the word and that is fine with me. I can't tell the diff between caf or decaf, or even fat-free VS 1% milk once it's frothed. I have my favorites of course but the ONLY coffee I have found that cannot be "fixed" is the mud served at Dennys. There is no point to serving me $20lb ground over that far cheaper,... as for me coffee, is coffee, is coffee- I work from the outside in. what kind of cremor/powder/ syrup do I have to work with? - that's what I care about. AND since anyone who's hung out in my kitchen will attest, there is NEARLY ALWAYS a selection to choose from. I either decide on my coffee and build my breakfast around it, or vise versa. THAT is what starts my day in the most perfect of circumstances. I realize that this warm fuzzy beverage is consumed by millions, of which I am not even a speck on the map- but might I also add that she who is noted in this picture is another who loves the stuff in moderation (although not as picky as I on the flavoring). Might I mention as a disclaimer here that I have gone for days at a time with NO coffee at all and my life is still groovey. If I can't make it my way- I can do without it just fine. Yeah, my coffee routine might not be easy, but I am. And .... now I shall have ANOTHER CUP :o)

thank you LouLou (again)

once again ...... (quite often the case) THANK YOU. you are a plethora of knowledge & ever the source of where to go if you don't have the answer :o) GLAD you & Foo are visiting. remember this moment??? This was a great trip and we had such fun together. (we always do!!!) another "self portrait" which is a regular occasion with you two. I like it cuz I took a picture of you taking a picture :o) This was the blossoming moment of this day and YOU KNOW how much I love taking pictures of flowers !! Of course I could ALSO ADD that the two of you are 2 of nature's gifts into my life. I couldn't have done any better if I had gone to a botanical garden, planted seeds, tossed in some fertilizer (and you guys definitely are full of it at times) and picked the bouquet at the right time. I love you two "bloomin' idiots" VERY much!!!!

Silly Sunday

we're off on an adventure with pa this week .... not that any of "this" is silly. the silly part comes in that hanging around with these two guys (the Captain & Pa) I am surrounded by silliness. These two feed off each other, and me ..... I am mostly the straight man. It might even be silly to imagine that I am on the computer on a beautiful day like today- but then again .... I am doing so out in the warm sunshine by the pool! (so, maybe it's not so silly now??) ha-ha MORE SILLY would be that if I was home, I would probably be taking one of my cats for a walk in our kitty stroller. "some" people might think that was silly!! some people (the Captain) might even FEEL silly taking the walk (although he does it with me anyway). Silliness can (and is) often be a REALLY good thing because laughter is a great "upper". If we all laughed every day- we would all (likely) be healthier & happier. EVEN IF we're laughing at ourselves! (I practice that regularly). I look for the silliness in life each day if it doesn't find me first. THAT way, I don't take myself (or grumpy people) too seriously. I don't get sucked into the dark hole people allow themselves to wallow in. I can me sympathetic & empathetic, without being miserable. I am not saying that I have never been depressed. I have, in fact, even had an episode of depression. When that happens- no amount of silliness or random act of kindness makes you feel any better. You just have to work thru your feelings AND if you are aware of your depression, you have an element of control over it. Gee, this has gotten serious suddenly. I had a very close friend (we dated for over a year) that had a great sense of humor who- as a result of having experienced depression himself, & recognized it because his own mother had suffered from it for his whole life, ended up committing suicide because he refused to be "controlled" by medication for the rest of his life. Turns out his sense of humor was developed to protect him from one pain but could not save him from another. While I was disappointed in him to have chosen that path - I also was sad to know that he was in so much pain that he felt that was his best way to handle it. BUT- my sympathy fell more to his son who had to deal with all the things they had said and not said to each other over the years. He was about 19 at the time. I did not feel sorry for the one who was gone, I felt sorry for one he left without explanation. YIKES.... the silliness is TOTALLY gone from this blog. I am going to swim for a bit and see if I can find it again!!!! Maybe this picture will help :o)

so here goes ... SOAPBOX SATURDAY

If I am spending too much money and I cannot pay my bills- I just go into the other room and print up some more 20's. Or I go to my boss and ask for a raise. If I decide I want more money- I just add some zeros to the number on my paycheck. If I don't want to spend my hard earned money- then I just get into a car that someone else had paid for & filled up with gas at their own expense. If I want something I can't afford, I just go ahead and get it, and I don't even make an excuse as to why I cannot honor my agreement to pay for it. And if I screw up my budget or mis-appropriate the use of my bank account- I don't sell the boat I have used twice in 5 years or the private jet that cost more to store than to fly- I just go and get more money that I won't account for or answer questions about. How about you??
Does ANY OF THIS sound familiar. Does any of this ring a bell. If you read the newspaper, listen to the radio, or watch the 6 pm news, then it does. I REALLY find it difficult to believe that when the constitution or bill of rights or declaration of independence was written .... that it was with the intention of governments (AKA politicians) taking advantage of the people they SUPPOSEDLY represent. IT IS TIME for all of them to take the money out THEIR OWN pockets to pay the piper. It's time to eliminate the expense accounts that allow them to party on when they should be WORKING for the people who trusted them. LOOK AT THE VOTING records of some of these guys ...... I get more upset at the times they DON'T vote at all then for the times they vote WRONG!! Can you imagine what the hourly rate comes out to if you divided their pay (including their benefits and perks) by the number of hours they are ACTUALLY on the job??!!! AND- while I'm all riled up now ...... who's the idiot that decides that a CEO should be making millions from the get go. WHY would someone be making soooooooooo much money when the people who actually DO THE WORK that they are benefiting from are losing their own jobs (or decent medical coverage) okay, okay ..... so I am not offering any answers and I am ALSO not telling you anything you haven't thought about yourself so- since this ALSO doesn't make me feel any better either since I am not a vent-er by nature. I consider this soapbox officially dismantled. (and maybe it's not what saturday was made for) let's go for a walk.

diet ..... more like die-eat

oh my gosh - have you ever thought about that? you go on a diet and suddenly you feel like you are starving! It's like the word continues to remind you of how hungry you are!! sort of like when you tell someone not to blink for a picture!
so- for the past few months I have given more DIRECT thought about what I am eating & when I am eating (the "why" is obvious) I have found that it is (for me) FAR MORE successful to think about it in advance. That is, if I know I am going somewhere in the evening that has a killer dessert, then I eat lower cal/carb during that day. Or if a holiday is coming that involves eating has half the fun (and eating is definitely fun)- then I eat high in fruit & veggies before and after the "event". The only time I gained any of the weight loss back so far is 2 weeks in Hawaii- because it included evening Mai tais, hula pie, Maui chips, & malasadas. Even with that- it was only 2 lbs and was gone less than a week after returning to "the real world". This is for real. I want this time in my life to last as long as possible!! I want to stay healthy and pain free. I talked before about doing things when I WANT TO DO THEM and I WANT to do this for me!!! AND I would like to mention that when I decided to do this (for real), then I sat down with the Captain and told him what HE could do to help me (and he does!!! ) he's a groovey guy.

perhaps we should have a SOAP BOX

I am thinking I might try having somewhat of a "theme" for each day of the week (I am also thinking that is not likely to last) much like how I am a mood dresser (by way of what color I "feel" like wearing), my words flow the same way. I remember when I was a teenager, I would occasionally wake up in the middle of the night because there were words in my head that I needed to write down. Some of my best poetry for class developed that way. Anyway- my point is that I can set up the idea of having a theme for each days' smattering of words- but if I am not in the mood to do a Wednesday's Wisdom or a Tuesday's Trivia .... then it just ain't gonna come. It's not that I am undisciplined ...... just that there are some things you have to do when you are told to, some things you do because you know you need to, and some things you can do whenever you darn well please! I cannot tell you the please I derive from when I am doing something (crafting, scrapping, nuttin') and I think of what I could be accomplishing if I got off my tail- and then I think "I don't have to do that if I want to play another game of solitaire, or watch another episode of Lipstick Jungle". Sometimes I do just that- sometimes I get up and do what I was thinking about and THEN I go back to what I was doing. I am a big girl, AND I have earned the right to take some time for myself too!! Sometimes I feel selfish, sometimes I just feel good :o) RIGHT NOW, I feel just that!!!

Big Bird wants his head back Addy!!!

There is this our precious little April mini-me called Addyson. Most often we call her Addy, but on this day- she was DEFINITELY remembered as big bird! She is a mellow little chick, with huge brown eyes that suck you into her sweet round cheeks for a smooch.

She is already indicating that she wil strong willed & smart- but very loving as well. She loves to pose for pictures (particularly when she is eating). She is a little stubborn, but that is because she has a precocious, HIGH energy, smart as a fox big brother (and apple of his grammy's eye) to stand up to.

They two are lucky little critters ..... they are raised by parents who dote on them, love them, discipline them, and waited for them. They were meant to be with them :o)

Being a grammy is just as great as you ready about. When they are grouchy .... you can send the grandkids home!! You can buy them noisy gifts, tell them secrets about their daddy, and best of all- experience life's simple pleasures thru their eyes and feel the excitment of childhood again. They are precious indeed. AND THEY GROW sooooo fast.

To April & Chris- they are a wonderful gift to your lives. Keep a tight reign but tell them how much you love them every chance you get. Raise them to be the same kind of people that YOU are & the world will be better for it.HUGS from grammy go out to Bako!!

(and thanks to Foo for the "flowers" of patience for this day & Candra for the foto memories!!) It was ANOTHER good, good day!

beam me over Scotty ....

okay, okay so I admit. I like travelling I just don't like the time it takes to get there! HA To be more precise, I do like the driving thing when #1 I am not the one driving or #2 the whole plan is to go the scenic route to see things BEFORE we get to where we are going. This does NOT include the scenic route that is used as an excuse when we're lost of course. HOWEVER, with the invention of the GPS- the only time this happens is if we are driving along and THEN the GPS gets turned on, then has to boot, then has to find the satellites, then has to blah, blah blah. A lot of "scenery" goes by during that time! HA And, I must insert here .... it's not very scenic when you are in the car with my sister LouLou, as she is driving 300 miles an hour- but we get there F-A-S-T so the route is not an issue!! hmmmmm, did she ever mention on HER blog that she once past a cop & got a ticket and THEN .... a few days later past the SAME cop and got another??!! I can hear her laughing out loud in my head (now) but it wasn't so funny back then ($$) Each of my sisters have a special place in my heart. Now I know you are thinking that's the norm- but as sisters, we are really good friends as well- even as different as we are. the above mentioned LouLou is often referred to as our Martha Stewart. This is particularly ironic considering she often burned water until she was well into her 20's! She is blonde (mostly) and she is SMART .... how's that for an rarity?! When you cook as well as Martha and, (more importantly), the food LOOKS like Martha's as well - you know there is a creative gene floating around inside and when she took to scrapbooking (which she does in the 25th &26th hour of her normal day) it took bloom! WOW. You go to her home & you do not expect the fru-fru, delicate embellishment she brings to a design. Her home is leather & leopard & mounted animals!! (not to mention full of animals). And .... besides helping to raise her, our "connection" was forged when she was daily caretaker to my young sons when I divorced & returned to the "ole home town". Part of what I am proud of most in them, started with being with her almost every day. YAY.
Well, as the quiet around here starts to dissipate with showers running & coffee brewing & cats begging .... I shall leave you with smile on my face. If it's not on my face- it's in my heart.

fwiday, fwiday

fwiday, fwiday, Friday is my favorite day! My hubby always laughs when I say it.
(and I like it when he laughs) so I will be saying that a time or two tomorrow.

It was a long day (and a good one too) but I am looking forward to some serious face time with the Captain, that doesn't end on Monday eve. AND I have a tall stack of magazines and a book calling my name. No alarm clock, no schedule for a few days ...... that's for me. But enough about me, let's talk about you - what do YOU think about me?!! My friend LuLu is here and she says that to me all the time. LuLu is a very groovey friend of mine.
Weather here is magnificent ..... I hope EVERYONE has a great weekend!

oh .... I hadn't thought of that .....

you know how sometimes you wonder if you said something (perhaps derogatory) out loud?? well - it's sort of the same way if you "announce" that you have a blog ..... you MIGHT WANNA take that into consideration when you blah, blah, blog. ANYONE might be reading it! so .... you might want to contain yourself from saying EVERYTHING you are thinking ya know?? cuz what's therapudic for you , could be misunderstood or taken out of context ??!!
so . now that I have rattled off an entire paragraph that is probably redundant (much like the answers my husband gives when asked a yes or no question) .... I do want to say something that is related (well duh). How often do you suppose a person actually likes their job or the people they work with?? (no I am not putting this in just because I told them about the blog) I am surrounded by some really groovey people (get used to the word, you'll see it again). The best part about it is that they are all a little different and still groovey (told ya) I work at more than one office & each has it own unique personality. all good, all diff. some are warm & fuzzy, some are filled with laughter- laid back & relaxed. Some run with an aire of efficiency. so- if one doesn't want to get into the doldroms .... take my job .... please. DON'T get me wrong- I am NOT offering it to anyone .... I am just making a statement. In revisiting the esstablishment I worked at previously, they knew I wasn't comfortable with my job here at first, so they were curious what changed. my answer .... everything. the job itself was redefined, my attitude, my approach, my whereabouts. bottom line- according to them, I created another "royal setting" for myself (you know .... the princess) yeah .... I did, and I like it that way. Hope it lasts a long time. and .... let me say - thanks to those I work along side ..... thank YOU for making my job a groovey one :o)

luck or destiny?

I believe that things often happen for a reason. I believe this because many a time - believing this kept me from feeling like I was being punished in some way. Believing this has kept me from wasting energy on something I could not change. Believing this has (occasionally) kept me from spending money. Believing this has (often) kept me from dwelling on things less than happy. Believing this has (somewhat) helped shape my life into what it is at this moment. And although I am smart enough to know that there is ALSO a lot of things in my life that I am responsible for(good & bad)- believing that some things happen for a reason, has allowed me to let go of fear, dread, & embarrassment, in order go on with things more productive. I have learned about myself (and others). And while I don't actually think there is a master plan for each of us- I do believe that we each have the potential to make a difference. Perhaps in small ways that we aren't even aware of at times. And for a select few, BIG things that change entire lives. I would like to feel that I may (someday) leave a little footprint in the "scheme of things" . not to prove anything to anyone, but rather to have been deserving of the space I take up in the universe. To feel that I didn't (totally) waste the chances or choices I have been given. Does this sound heavy at the end of the day? Not for me ..... this sort of "stuff" floats around my head all the time. But I CHOOSE to approach or handle it with curiosity or awe- instead of picking it apart or dissecting. Just another choice I suppose (?)
So I am leaning toward the belief that there may be a destiny that awaits me- but how I get there is primarily up to me. I can take shortcuts or the scenic route. I can smell the roses or trample the garden in full. I can embrace problems full on or make excuses. In short, I can make lemonade out of the lemons that life throws at me, or I can sit around with a sour attitude. I am sure I have done a little of each along the way but I am still learning how to make better choices. I am still learning about myself. AND I am learning to like what I am learning :o) Dr Phil ..... eat your heart out. HA

girl talk - you betcha

I have a long drive into work on Tuesdays- I also have satellite radio. the 2 mesh quite nicely. although, occassionally, I arrive at work and there is 5 more minutes to a classic radio broadcast that I just cannot sit in my car to finish. I start thinking about what I "could" be doing inside! anyway ... TODAY- I was listening to the Sinatra channel & they played "Girl Talk" (a duet with a voice I did not recognize) ..... it had a couple of verses that were not part of the original ... discussing cell phones and such. And while I didn't necessarily agree with ALL the things said about what happens when gals get together for chats- I must admit that we doooooo have our own form of communication that guys (Martians) will never catch on to. AND- I so love some of the conversations that generate a huge amount of laughter. Particularly with LuLu & Smurf (don't ask) or when I get together with my sisters. Those are feel good times that cannot be beat. AND- while I am on the subject of laughter ..... does ANYONE laugh more than I do on a DAILY basis?? between my workmates, friends, family, neighbors and BEST OF ALL my husband- I am forever in stitches (oh my gosh how I love the feeling that comes over me when I laugh). If you haven't done so today - LOOK FOR the humor in your life or job or surroundings and get into the practice of laughing. I think (or so I have been told as well) that it DOES make you look younger !!

tuesday is my monday

yes - lucky me. I start my work week on Tuesday. And to top that off, my work week ends (usually) about noon on Friday! (and I am still trying to figure out what I do with my time!). When my husband (aka the Captain) used to work primarily away from home, those were L-O-N-G weekends. Now they seem to fly by. go figure?! HOWEVER, on my own behalf, I am not just an 8-5'er. I often bring things home with me to work on or finish or tweak. AND, as with literally every job I have had- I am a virtual guidence counselor & relationship caretaker to those I work closely with. It comes easily & I do feel I have headed off an oozie or two. The onset of cell phone texting has made this easier yet! Speaking of going postal (?) my bestest friend from Santa Cruz is coming to kitty sit for us soon. We have some business out of town and she has graciously decided this is the place for her to be (thank you, thank you, thank you)
Last night we watched a "feel good" movie. It's been a while since we have seen one that is all about the happy ending. At the risk (ha) of dating myself, it is my all time fav TV movie - Cinderella (Lesley Ann Warren's breakaway role at 19 y/o) The movie was broadcast in 1965 and I have seen it about 8 times since :o) No special affects (or at least nothing you would identify with today's level)- just good music & lovely acting. YAY. We watch a DVD on average of 4 eves a week. It follows Jeopardy & the Wheel of Fortune, as that is a staple in our home. My wonderful (and I mean that) father-in-law lives with us and I FIRMLY BELIEVE there is a right of passage that takes place in your 60's that begins with your routine of watching these 2 shows. I remember when my parents did the same thing (and I am sure they STILL ARE). When I would be at their home, I might wander past the room and call out an answer or two. Before long, my mom would tell me not to guess unless I was going to sit down & watch the whole thing. Apparently she was not a big fan of drive-by puzzle solving!! Dad would just laugh. Around here, we have 3 DIVERSE minds that have accumulated (some useless) knowledge that somehow manages to work together to answer a decent number of Jeopardy questions (although not in the correct form) and nearly all The Wheel puzzles. But then, armchair gaming is easy!! I am often heard stating "oh yeah, yeah, yeah - that's what I meant". Well, the time has come for me to fly off to the factory as it be. Y'll come back now, heah???!!

A toast to a grand lady!!

today is mom's birthday. I suppose I should say "would have been" but it sounds so much more final that I wish it was. as grounded as I normally am - I so hope that someday she appears to me or makes me feel as though she is near. I miss her so much it still makes me cry to think about how much I still had to share with her. so many things left unsaid (often enough) so many questions I still had. so many joys SO MUCH more joyous with her around. this home was as much for her as it was for us and it just seems like she should have been here at least for a while to enjoy it. I love you mom, I miss you. Happy Birthday!! come see me soon.

not "A" princess, "THE" princess

so .... about now you are saying to yourself .... "why does she think she is the princess". Let me assure you, I do not THINK I am the princess, I AM the princess. (spoken with hands in motion). I am many other things as well as the princess, but being the princess is one of the things I do best. Those who know me well will back up the fact that I am not the diva, demanding, snobby princess - but MOST (I am sure) will tell you that I am spoiled, and I agree with that. But in a good way!! In a thankful, appreciative, deserving sort of way. It's not like I was born a princess. Far from it infact. And it wasn't an overnight thing either. But with many years of practice under my (slightly smaller) belt now, everyone who knows me well- has referred to me at one time or another as "the princess" - therefore, making it offical.

That (above) being said, I am not all fluff. More likely, I am very little of it at all. I have a few strong & respected skills. I am creative (though not a match for my sister LouLou in regards to scrapbooking or cocktail recipes). I am artistic (though not nearly as precise or well rounded as my sister Foo). I have an interest in trying new things (though not nearly as adventurous or successfully competitive as my sister Sow). But I have strengths they would perhaps not take first post on- such as aura of peace within me (I have earned it in spades), a way of standing on the outside to observe, while still being part of an inner circle, a skill for speaking politically correct without being the least bit political, and as a leader that does so without being the boss. And though each of my sisters are nuturers themselves, I nutured all of them first.

So .... what is this blog all about for me? hmmmm thoughts, insights, mature observances, time away from the routine of life itself..... all of those things, maybe more. Learning more about myself- definitely! Some venting, some questioning ..... There was a time when journaling kept me sane, so I DO appreciate it's theraputic affect. Let's just see where it all leads shall we?!