EVERYTHING'S FINE

How many times have you said something along those lines when it really wasn't the case? And for what reason did you say it? Think about it.

We watched the movie titled such ..... and, as you would expect. Everything was not fine. Pretty much like it is whenever a person uses the word fine. or okay. (when asked how they are). I SO RARELY use those words in response that if I do ..... you should know that I am not so fine at all. It's happened a few times in the last 6 months or so, but been strictly temporary. (like only on a Tuesday or Thursday evening) and the last time it was for real would have been when mom died. THAT was a real not-so-fine. But at that time, I couldn't even fake it with the words! However, I wasn't even thinking about that phrase when I first opened up my blog tonight. I planned on talking about how "estranged" we can get from family over time, and how sad that is. Sometimes, so much time goes by that you don't know what to say to each other. bummer.
My sisters and I have re-connected with some additional family members recently and thait makes me wonder how we lost touch in the first place (?) These were people I was really close to at one time!
THIS IS ANOTHER one of those times you gotta be thankful for the technology of the internet !!!! (and WOW how time flies when it's staring you in the face).
Hi Taunya. Hi Sue. welcome back!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISSER !!!!!!!!!!!

my "baby" ..... 2nd born, Christopher Scott - 31 TODAY !!

I

Love

You !

the GREAT WALL OF DEL SOL continues .....

the fence is beginning to take shape now.

As I watch the workers, it's pretty obvious that this isn't fencing 101 .... it's much more than that. There are levels involved!! The Captain was particularlu excited to find out that they would be using screws instead if nails- that's the way he would do it. Or as it put it to me last night "that's the right way"

Of course .... it also (sort of) explains why their 2 week estimate for completions looks to be a little optimistic as well !!

But, since we have gone through stuff like this before, we aren't surprised or disappointed- we've just anxious to see how it's all going to look upon competion.

life with poo (not the stinky kind)

THIS is a POO

AKA Foo, AKA Lisa, AKA "almost" Heidi, AKA ..... things I cannot repeat (teehee).

I don't see as much of her as I would like. Her schedule, mine, responsibilities, logistics .... just life in general, adds to more time in between visits than I prefer!

Fortunately, with technology today we keep in touch with each other's goings on for the most part, but it's not quite the same.

Add a LouLou to the mix and we have even more laughter & craziness. The 3 of us have had some great times together .... and I figure that as we continue to mature (for some of us it is taking longer than for others) .... we'll be racking up a few more great memories !!

Let the good times roll!

My (adopted) middle name is "bling"

For all of my adult life (which seemed to start around 13), I have loved bling. Now do let me clarify that in using this word I do not mean jewelry (although I do NOT wish to exclude it either). To me, bling is pizazz, sparkle, light, twinkle, color.

It's the kinda thing that when I see it, it catches the breath in my throat or creates a curl in the corner of my smile. My mind ponders "what made them think of this" & I get a little furrow in my brow as my eyes slightly squint as if to see better .
If on paper, I turn it to different angles, wondering if that is how it was created- straight on, or out of chance (?) With luck, sometimes it comes home with me or inspires something from my own imagination.

When I sang with the Sweet Adeline

organization, I felt like Cinderella going to the ball. Taffeta, sequins, velvet, ruffles & rhinestones .... lots & LOTS of rhinestones. It was beautiful. Okay, it was more sparkly than beautiful sometimes but I loved it. It's not like Dolly Pardon was my God mother ..... I'm not that far over the top ..... just allow me to add a splash of color or add a glint of sparkle & I'm happy. AND- allow me to change it up now & then, so I don't get bored!

it's NOT always easy being a parent (or a daughter)

I remember a moment ... SEVERAL years ago, when my dad accompanied me to a holiday outing to a convelescent home- where a small group of us went to sing Christmas carols to the residents. Dad was walking along with me, sometimes singing quietly, sometimes humming along. (he had a lovely voice at the time) It was the first time I consciously thought about my own parents' mortality. Even though they were both healthy, active & vital at the time- it made me wonder how I would feel or accept the limitations that aging would bring to them, just as it had to those we were entertaining that day. Even though that was, indeed, quite some time ago- it hasn't been near long enough. But then, I'm not sure it could ever seem so. The Captain & I have had conversations with his parents because they were caretakers of their own parents, & as prepared as we might think we are .... the choices that sometimes have to be made are still difficult. We want our parents to feel their wishes are being respected, but we also want to keep them safe. It is a time in our lives when we relate to our parents much the way we did our children, wanting to keep them healthy, happy & protected. It's a lot of work at times, but very rewarding when we are successful. There is a fine line, I believe between helping & taking over - and that is something we, as caretakers, struggle with. As a parent, I will always hope that at least I did the best I could at the time. As a daughter .... I would have to say the same. What we do for our kids AND our parents, we do out of love & friendship, & I hope they understand and believe that too.

OMG where did tha last few days go???!

between family needs, busy work schedules and even a couple of fun "social engagements" .... I seem to have lost at least 3 days in the past week. The harder I work .... the behinder I get.
wassup wit dat???!

I guess I best set priorities (one being to focus on retirement) ahhhh .... I feel better already!

OUT enjoying the beeeee-utiful weather

while little kitty softly snores in her bed atop the entertainment center in my craft room. A "cow" is slow cooking outside & there is beans, salsa, & bread being prepared. In the next few minutes .... neighbors will be arriving with salads & desserts & good cheer. And at times like this, I am reminded how good life is!!!

and the la creme de la creme COULD BE .....

my dream "vision" of a serenity garden outside my craftroom :o)

and the messiness continues but I got a PWISE !!

I'M THINKING .... (as I often do) .... that when the workers bring over a porta-potty, it means the job is taking longer than planned. But then we doubled the estimate anyway!!

so the digging & chopping & measuring continues (and boy are these guys working hard)

but ..... amongst all this dust & dirt & noise .... there was a sa-weet surprise for the princess (that would be me)

tah-dah !!!!! the fountain for my "eventual-to-be" serenity garden!!

woooo-hoooo

10 wks & counting

PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY if I do say so myself :o)

yay ..... the fence men cometh !

Repair

Replace

Remodel

THIS is the visual that started our day!!! And I love it when we are doing something that is such an esthetic change to our home. (without being particularly evasive to our daily routine) This fence was in poor condition when we moved in 5 years ago- so by now (with all our extra nails & screws in it) .... it's getting it's much needed "up do" ! I am very excited .... because it's also sort of a prelude to the completion of the serenity garden that I hope to put together in "my" new outdoor space. Eventually, we would love to put a little french door from my craft room into it as well. It's a spot for me to commune with nature, & (hopefully) spiritually connect with mom :o) I'm hoping to save enough from my last few weeks of work to get it done!!

summer nights to remember

Last night ..... in the glow of our "babbling" fountain ..... I marveled at the near-sliver of the moon. Crisp & clear in the black sky that stretched out forever. I sat for a few minutes to appreciate the beauty of the stillness of the midnight hour. peace, serenity. All I needed was the smell of pine!!

My creative genes have passed on to my first born ....

THIS is my hunky son Terry. He brought me a "project" to work on this weekend. BUT HE KNOWS that I don't always "get him" ..... and therefore - he is likely to be pitching in to make sure he gets what he's after.

In this case - it was a pair of boobs.
(why you ask??? explanation below)

AS YOU CAN SEE HERE - it turns out there was a pair of boobs to model the pair of boobs upon completion!!!

He will be playing in a tournament.

I think it's best to leave it at that. Just try to visualize a couple of guys playing doubles ping-pong ....

wearing these !!!

MORE than "just" family !

YUP - sometimes a picture says it far better!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM !!!!

I learn from the best ....

therefore Mom, I am wishing you a

HAPPY 39th Birthday

(for the 39th time!!!)

sa-weeet puddy tat

now WHAT do you suppose he is dreaming about ?? his next meal. his next massage. his next view of an outdoor critter. the next bug he finds to play with. maybe even the next bed he plans to take a nap in??!!!

ABUSE

this word has been laying heavy on my mind lately. OBVIOUSLY due to recent events that are considered top news. It's not like it's new news ..... but for some reason- this Mel Gibson thing is really bringing up some raw memories of my own. I guess the difference between the Tina Turner story of many years ago, or the Rihanna stories and this thing is .... we weren't in "the audience" of what's going on before. It was a movie, a picture, a storyline (not to make it any less abusive or real, mind you). This .... well this is like you're watching or listening to it unfold from the house next door. I don't know why.
He appears so out of control .... and she .... well- THIS is where I come in. I was "there" once. I was her. And by once I mean at one time in my life- NOT that it was only 1 time. Verbal abuse starts subtly I think. And for me, always in private- perhaps to avoid witnesses. This person- who's name I rarely utter because it STILL evokes a sick feeling in my stomach- would start with unkind comments, move on to descriptive remarks & if I wasn't already physically upset- continued with "colorful" explanations of what I lacked, why I had no friends, why "everybody" this & "nobody" that ..... with regard to me. Once I broke down ..... he would wander off triumphantly. MUCH, I suppose, like a bully does. In the early stages, I could think of reasons for his behavior. stressful work, long hours, issues with his family. yatta, yatta These instances were few & far between so it was possible to heal in between. (who's kidding who?) AND- within minutes of them happening, he was calm & loving (?) & considerate. He would ask why I was sad or depressed, I would open up & ask why he said such things to me & he would be puzzled as to why I thought he would say such things .... as if he didn't even remember the ugliness of it all. Eventually these times weren't so few & there was NOT enought time between to feel healed. I began getting numb to his words. The uglier his words got, the more I tuned out. Then one day- he pushed me. At that moment, in my own way of pushing back, I used a 2 word phrase that has never been a fav of mine & no sooner had the words left my lips & I knew ..... this was the last time I would go thru this. The next day, I told him so.
soooooo, I think this is nagging at me because there is such an "out of control" edge to Mr Gibson's voice. I listened to only seconds (the Rosie Show) & the face I saw was not even his. This is not Britney Spears or Lyndsey Lohan here .... this is an adult. No excuses for not having the right parenting or peers surrounding him ..... this man needs help before he does something to himself or the Ex. I don't know if the excerps that are being pimped are actually all from one conversation or from many, but I hope there is an intervention SOON. I was one of the lucky ones. The emotional scars are barely visable now. My Captain has to apply a bandaid now & again (thank you my hubby), but I am nearly whole & mostly all the time. I hope anyone reading this KNOWS their own value & has never, or will never have to deal with such things themselves!!

oh dear .... & by that I mean "OH, deer !!"

I was just commenting to pops yesterday how many blooms there were on our lily-ish plant that came up out of nowhere last year. "wow" dad said, "that thing is loaded isn't it?" (and it was). WELLLLLLLLL
I went out to get the newspaper this morning and ..... the bush is still there, only now it looks like a spiney urchin on steroids. Not a bloom left. EVERY flower (somewhere between 20 & 30 of them) was snapped right off & nowhere to be seen! Now, I have to say that I really don't mind the deer coming down off the hillside to have a bud, but - in all fairness, I would like to at least see them!!!! Guess we're gonna have to call a neighborhood watch meeting!!!

twinkle, nocturnal shriek, snore ... repeat all

WOW ..... I had the most amazing experience last night (not meaning to diminish the welcome home of the captain!!) ..... I was awaken by a tickle in my hair, to find that it was Poki's tail. He often comes around during the night for a bit of fresh air at our bedroom window. The head of our bed is against the window and with him crouched on the sill- his waving tail was tapping at my head. I reached up to pet him- which often elicits a subtle gurgle'ish sound .... but not last night (or rather 2am this morning). He was silent. Since this is more unusual than not, I lokked up at him & noticed the sky over the ocean was sprinkled with stars. The sky was like black velvet that had been showered with Swarovski crystals. It was breath taking. Seconds later, I heard a sound that didn't initially register .... til it repeated a few seconds later. and then again seconds later & it sounded like it was getting a louder. All the while, Poke is frozen in place. I pulled the window open further & scooted closer and noticed the outline of the neighborhood great horned owl! And he/she continued the nocturnal shriek. I considered waking the Captain at that point- but by then it was obvious that he was deep in sleep cuz he was snoring. So- for the next few minutes I lay there on my stomach, my chin propped up on my folded hands- until drowsiness won out. When I turned over & pulled a cool pillow against my cheek, Poki was still parked on the sill with the owl singing to him (?)

Just ANOTHER reason why I love living here :o) The squirrels drill holes about the yard, bird droppings trim the fence, deer munch on our blooming plants and an occassional snake saunters by ..... but it's all part of the ambiance of home!!

a portrait of POPOKI (all things are subject to change)

BELIEVE ME .... I will no sooner have this posted & this leopard will have already changed his spots. He may have well been born a woman .... since he changes his routine about as often as women change their minds!! His likes & dislikes are about as consistant as the NASDAQ. From what he eats to what he wants to play with .... ya just never know. This morning .... I came in to find him eating my cream of wheat. that darn cat

and I dooooooooo APPRECIATE you (also)

well, Well, WELL .... it's that time again. Seems to roll around this time every year. YUP- like it or not, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY ladies (aka my sisters) and I am here to make sure you know that I love you, I wish you a HUGE Happy Birthday and ..... I appreciate you too ! (inside joke)
wishing you a very -VERY ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

eye-yigh-yigh (?)

sometimes ..... an idea just happens around here ..... maybe that's what keeps life interesting.

when your friends feed you .....

I don't know about you but I get feed by my friends ... a LOT. Now it's true that when I was getting ready to post something for this evening- I was talking about food. But by the time I actually faced my computer, my thoughts had run amuck & I was thinking about the many different ways I am nourished by my friends. Sometimes it is the mere fact that they listen, or are simply present in the moment. Some of my friends are intuitive, some very intelligent, a few are even related. I have friends that I used to sing with, work with, or lived with. ALL OF MY FRIENDS are caring, considerate, & compassionate. Many are funny, most are beautiful, a few are sensitive, a couple sarcastic, some quite successful, & the majority are female. each of them enhance my life in one way or another. every one of them feed me on some level.
so .... as I groan over the fact that one of them also "fed" me tonight - way too well (I might add), I have a big smile in my heart knowing that I am blessed to have so many gifts of friendship in my life!!

the action never ends around here !

The cats are sleeping good at night these days .....
with the birds so plentiful & active during the day (until nightfall) ... the cats don't nap much during the day because they are glued to the windows. Today, even I spent a lot of time "bird watching" because we had a few visitors that aren't around everyday. Most entertaining to me was a hummingbird that would get within 10-12' of the sacks- as if to just look at what the birds were doing- and hover for a few seconds. It would return to the flowers it was feeding on itself, then check out the other finch sack .... once again returning to it's own routine. It did this 3-4 different times. Very cool. I couldn't catch it on camera because I had it attached to the tri-pod & didn't want to scare the hummer away with my movement, or miss out just watching him myself!! Do you suppose I need another camera??? hahahaha

the bird channel ...... now in HD

Our cats have often been called spoiled .... and with good reason. They have a half dozen beds about the house. They have dozens (sss) of toys. They have a private room for (hmmm, reading?) They have perches at most of the windows.
AND they have their own entertainment channel. If they are patient .... and sit very still .... these birds feed on the finch sack that is inches away from them. The only time the birds seem to get skittish is when a big person walks too close to the window .... or when one of the cats gets over stimulated and bounces off the glass!! (sorta funny to watch really)

summertime ..... and the living is eeeeeeasy

WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO (as Foo would say)

in lieu of our patriotic decor being neatly packed away .... I am about to post my new blog banner to officially launch summer in our household!!

tah-dah ...........

I bought this yummy pair of PJs shortly after moving here and dubbed them my "retirement pajamas". At the time ... the Captain's retirement date was not even a twinkle in our eyes. I used to tease him when he told me he wanted to move to Hawaii, but we might (each) need to have a couple of jobs to make ends meet there - "I can't work" I would reply. "I need time to walk the beach & collect seashells in the sunshine .... you'll have to get 3 or 4 jobs yourself." I mistakenly figured I would be the one to retire first (even though many would consider me semi-retired already with the hours I worked). I thought I would spend the last year or two of HIS career traveling with him for some of his times away from home. I didn't plan on any of this, I just sort of thought about it from time to time. BUT- with my encouragement, he retired ..... much to my joy of having him home :o) And, shortly after, I was working even less hours. So who could ask for more? Well .....
TODAY ... I made the official step of informing my employer of my intent to leave their employ. I do so with a somewhat heavy heart. There are parts of my job that I truly enjoy (well yeah, the paycheck is a given). Dr T is a gem ... so are many of the patients I have worked with. But I also know, in my heart- that this is the right time. I know that saying "when I have more time" is no longer acceptable. I want this quality time to spend with my husband, my family & my grandkids. yippeeeeeeeeeee-yankee-doodle-dandeee !!

sometimes .... I impress myself! (go figure)

It's 12:30pm & I JUST TURNED ON MY COMPUTER! Normally, the morning routine would be along the lines of bathroom, cat food, coffee, computer. But not today!! Before I even walked into my craft room (AKA "the happy place") ....... I went grocery shopping (it's sort of eerie at 8am when the store is empty), cleaned the cat boxes, decommissioned the last of the July 4th decorations, cleaned out some files & vacuumed. pretty groovey huh?

price....list

hearing "I luv you gwamma" .......... priceless
the smell of fresh coffee when you first wake up ....... priceless
falling in love all over again ..... priceless
friends you don't have to explain yourself to .... priceless
snuggling on a cool summer night ....... priceless
less than 48 hours in a NJ hospital ..... 7960.87

guilty pleasure (less of the first, more of the 2nd)

I have confessed my "Real Housewives" vice before. I'm a little embarrassed, but not nearly enough to stop watching them! What can I say?? They AMUSE me. They are outrageous. They are over the top. and mostly ... they are NOT "real". Not in my sense of the word. And that is part of the reason I find them to be so amusing & entertaining! Come on- if they were my kind of "real", they would live next door to me. AND I DON'T WANT that kind of "drama" that they create for themselves to be next door to me!! SO what can I say? I don't care if it's silly or even a waste of time ..... AND, I'm not even gonna try to explain why, or even make excuses anymore .... it amuses me, and that's all that matters!
HOWEVER- all that being said, I have to say that I enjoy them more if I don't watch 5 of them back-to-back from the DVR. I will pace myself in the future (ha-ha) NOW WATCHING GLEE is a totally other story. I watch & watch (& and rewatch).... and I love it as much as the first time!! I am a GLEEK indeed!!

back in the saddle again (maybe not)

hmmmm ..... up at 5:15am just like old times- only these old times just might be coming to an end. I am at a crossroads. I am still gathering mental & emotional info to make the decision as to which way to turn. Until then .....
I do so love the peace & quiet of an early morning rise, and the soft shadows that appear as the sun slowly peaks over the hills. The sprinklers have done their chores, leaving droplets of water on the leaves here & there that catch the light. The birds begin to show up for morning roll call at the feeder, which brings my kitty kats to their window perches. By the time I leave, the Captain will likely be just out of the shower, the kitty kats will be taking the first of numerous naps & the freeway will be in the early stages of it's weekday commute. I guess this means all is right with the world on a Tuesday morning in my corner of the world.

the clouds parted & a great light was seen ...

the sunshine had some competition with the low clouds yesterday & we thought it might be another year of "listening" to the fireworks display. HOWEVER, shortly after sunset ... we could see all the way to the dunes. crystal clear!! So- with the balcony heater fired up & a couple of fuzzy blankets- we were in for a great show!

The gang gathered to grill up some dogs & burgers- along with potato salad, watermelon, deviled eggs, beans, jello & cherry pie. It was a feast fit for a holiday!

earlier in the day - the Captain took his turn helping out our community patrol program with crowd control. Over the July 4th weekend, our population probably quadruples!! Thanks Captain

and yes ... July 4th is about more than food!

MUCH was accomplished today by way of the Captain!! For one thing, he got creative with his flag waving :o)

and he added the "star" treatment for his lighthouse! The house flags are waving proudly as well. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

as for me the fresh lemonade is ready, the R,W & B jello is "set" .... and the eggs are about to be deviled. woo-hoo .... what a day!

I'm unpacked with most of the laundry done. The mail is sorted ... with a lots of shredding !! The boys took off to do the grocery shopping while I gave Pop's "apartment" a cleaning. I even pulled a few weeds!!!! I think I deserve the rest of the day off :o)

let July begin!!

alrighty then ......