the Captain and I are currently establishing our conscious level of bedtime sogginess. We walk a fine line between that which gets things out of the head and off our chests to allow sleep at night. We risk going into areas of both, that can make us think TOO MUCH! It's going to take some practice to get it right, but boy did I pick the right person to do it with!
Years ago, when I shared with co-workers that the Capt was going to retire...several of them cautioned me about being careful what I wish for. Tooooo much time together. Becoming smothered. Creating an expansive "to do" list in advance. Just to name a few. But, I wasn't wrong then...nor am I now! He's "the man" in every sense of the word!!
It is the time of the evening when the captain smoothes back the bed covers .. his hands cutting thru them like a perfect set iron temperature, to create crisp, white, pillow cases on which he mentally places a single chocolate mint wafer. He might spritz the foot of the bed with a light lavender or lemon scent. He arranges newly arrived flowers or keepsakes so that I can see them from my side of the bed at a glance. During HIS ritual...I am performing that of my own by setting up the bedside table in prep of what could be an hourly wake up call in the night.... to address pain, thirst, or nausea or changing position to relieve numbness or stinging. We are unwinding from whatever has been handled for this day...while winding up for what may also lie ahead! Getting me into resting position is no longer an easy feat! It used to simply require laying down.
THATS IT...laying down! Now, it resembles the three or so circles about the bedding to bundle and tuck and nestle. (Like when cats go to bed!) by the time I actually make physical contact with the sheets... I am sooo hoping I am close to where I need to be, as I am already in a state of exhaustion!! With the remote switch at the tip of my fingers...I make the last couple of altitudinal adjustments and lights out!! For at least an hour. (Hopefully). It takes a few deep breaths before any evidence do consciousness returns....and the talking begins.
This is when our world problems begin to reshape. This is when the tears flow. This is when the real time of our real life is discussed. It's our time to be real with each other. And we are. Some of this I may share along the way...some maybe not. At this point, it's all I can do to commit to TRY and stay on top of the blog itself. If I find I am not holding up my end of the bargain...I am looking at a way to address that as well!!
FOR TONIGHT.... I have gotten this far, and that's quite an accomplishment for me!! In doing so, I hope I am doing something for you and me both! Time will tell. Time, will tell !!
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