I made a "mom" omelet this morning (everything but the kitchen sink) ... the Capt sliced up some fresh fruit for me & added a piece of raisin toast to my plate. By this time, my vanilla latte was chillin', so it got nuked for the first time. The coo-coo clock chimed once signaling 8:30a, but before sitting down with my meal, I be-bopped downstairs to see if Pa was awake yet.
NOPE.
Back upstairs I went, gathered up my Kindle to play WWF while munching ..... and I picked at my breakfast- never even turning on the game. preoccupied. unfocused. slightly numb. I've been trying to perfect the numb thing. It doesn't last long enough. Finally I heard a little clatter & found Pa making his way to his recliner. Exhausted from the 10 feet of space between he & the chair he rose from to get where he now stood. my heart sank. It's difficult seeing him struggle to get from point A to point B ... whether those points are a day apart or a few feet apart .... it's a whole lotta work. The pretty little breakfast plate I made up for him went untouched and today was his first request for a real pain med. I did as he asked, knowing it will not be the last, knowing it indicates bigger issues than we have dealt with up to now, knowing changes are in our immediate future that I'm not prepared for emotionally. There was some repair work going on today, & yet in my head it seemed so quiet, in a weird way. I'm trying to figure out what is expected of me & how I go about providing just that, but I'm not quite "there" yet. In the meantime ... the Capt & I are spending as much quality time with Pa as he is capable of appreciating ... that we CAN do!
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