pictures, papers, & plans

4 days ago, the kayak shop called Captain to ask if he was interested in leading a tour today.  He hesitated, I nodded yes (I recognize the patter of those calls), and a smile spread across his face.  I have made an effort to give us a piece of each day to be together & away from the house.  The house full of chores, full of obligations.  But I knew he needed to get out on the water.  It was time for him to just enjoy himself during a few hours that didn't involve his responsibilities following dad's death, his desire to help me, his attempt to "fix" everything & get our lives back on track.  Today was that time.  I, on the otherhand have given myself permission to take the morning off for a relaxed breakfast, catching up on some magazines, & surfing the net.  I'm sort of doing that.  One half of my brain is doing it ... the other half, lining up chores to accomplish this afternoon.  One might remind me that there is no rush.  And that's literally true.  But without tasks being tackled every day- this limbo we are experiencing will last all the longer, and that's not very comforting.  Each of us find our own path to emotional recovery.  A path that can veer off through the woods or a straight road to the destination we choose.  There is no right or wrong way.  Even over the next hour or so- I will probably struggle with my choices for today ... to sit, feet up, steaming latte in hand, Pandora music lofting in the backround- or jumping back into paperwork, packing & picking up the pieces left behind by departure of a loved one.