what is changed, remains the same ... so to speak

As we were returning home from a PD volunteer assignment today- the Capt commented that this would be one of those times when he would check in with Pa & tell him all about what we did ... and it's not the first time he's had to catch himself in such a thought & return to the reality of our life now.  I've done the same thing.  Our days are different ... our nights, not as much so.  My jaunts up & down the stairs are pretty much for myself now- since that's where the design studio now resides .... or as my sister calls hers ... "the happy place".  It's surprising how many round trips I make during the average day.  So much for not being able to get to the treadmill presently.  Not surprising to me either is the fact that while very little of Pa's furniture or personal belongs reside in the house now- his presence is quite strong.  Conversations recalled over this, favorite comments over that, and of course ... the lovely bouquet that daughter Vanessa had delivered prior to the memorial last week.  By this morning, the last of the gladiola blooms faded, the birds were discolored, the greenery wilting- so I dismantled it, creating a simple & delicate arrangement highlighting the only flower still pretty ... the orchids.  I found it a little ironic that it would be the survivor ... being Ma Betty's favorite flower and all.  So, while I'm really happy about the many changes we have made over the past couple of weeks (& apparently Poki is in agreement as well), they are at times a little bittersweet ... since such things would also be appreciated by people I can no longer share them with.  AND returning to this morning, with our traffic control station directly across from the "PALMIST" sign, with the windows of the building promising truth in all things past & present ... I decided that the parts of my life I do not remember are better left that way, & that not knowing exactly what to expect for the tomorrows I have ahead of me .... is fine with me!