the eve of another event ...

TOMORROW- is Halloween ... and I would rather remember it as just that. But it's more. And because 2morrow is a significant day, it means that today is the eve of said day. For the last week or more, has been "the eve", because it has been on my mind constantly,
October 31st 2011 marks a year since the sudden passing of my mom. AND AS MANY would agree .... diagnosis to death in 7 days is damn sudden! It was not an easy time then, it's no easier now- just different. My dad is declining a little each day because of a sorrow he cannot shake. We all share in that pain... but for him, exceptionally so, because she was a soulmate he never expected to find or cherish as he has. A story came to mind, days ago, that keeps floating in & out of my consciousness, so I want to share it (or "blog it"- to be acurate); Mom & I were sorting through some pictures (YEARS ago) and we were commenting about this one or noting something about that one- and a black & white picture surfaced that I picked up & simply said "I remember this day". Mom seemed puzzled and asked me what I was talking about. "I remember we were sitting out on a blanket having a backyard sort of picnic... you, Steve & me ... and there was an earthquake. I remember the shaking. I remember you rushing us into the house, & you were scared". She had a funny look on her face & sort of laughed ... finally explaining that I was not THERE at the time of the earthquake .... well, not exactly anyway ...... because, actually ... she was pregnant with me at the time!
I miss my mom .... I miss the fact that she is no longer just a phone call away .... and that I could have called her a lot more often than I did. I miss that silly laugh of hers. I miss the closeness we shared when I first became a mother myself and for the decade of years that followed. We bowled on leagues together. We camped together. We canned fruits together. I miss handing over a piece of fabric that would materialize into a shirt for the Captain & I a couple of weeks later. I miss teasing her about silly things. I miss her pineapple chiffon pie. I miss hearing the kids call her granny. I even miss the thrown together casseroles that we weren't fond of, & that she thought we were kidding her when we told her to. MOSTLY, I miss seeing joy on Dad's face ..... every day they were together.
God Bless You mom. We know YOU are safe ... but Dad's needing a little guidence these days .... maybe you could stop by for a visit with him soon. I love you.