Is it possible?
There was someone I was once very close to. I didn't feel we were best firends & I don't think she did either- but I'm not sure about that. There came a time when I was considered the best person to approach her about something .... and it backfired. That is to say, what we thought would be best coming from me because of our close friendship, turned everything upside down within 24 hours.
She got angry with me and all communication ended. I could never get her to talk about how she felt or to let me explain (somehow) where I was coming from. I don't know if she misunderstood, I don't know if she felt betrayed, I don't know much of anything about how or what she felt and that still bothers me. As far as I know, she is the first (and only) person that has disliked me (well, besides an ex husband that is). I wonder sometimes what has bothered me most about this (going on 3 years now). Is it that she didn't "like" me? Or is it the loss of a friendship?
I have made numerous attempts to reconnect. I have apologizedmany times & in many ways. For a long while she didn't acknowledge any of my overtures. I made them less often and I thought about giving up entirely. And then one day, she answered an email. Cordially and politely (though brief). So I didn't give up. A few months ago her husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I reached out to her again. I don't see much change in our interaction (which is minimal anyway since we live in different cities), but I am torn about what to do- today. Her husband died yesterday. She has a large support system in place, but I can't decide if I should attend the memorial. I doubt our friendship (or rather lack of it) would cross her mind really. Her notification yesterday appeared to be a sendall from her email address book. No one can tell me what would be the right or wrong thing to do I suppose and I will probably wonder if I make the right choice either way.
IN FACT, I wonder right now if any of my feelings have to do with my mood (note my previous blog) For now, I will just give this all more thought! and then, I will start the movie !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 comments:
Princess-I could have wrote this post with minimal changes. I lost my best friend in similar fashion 10 years ago. I did all the same things, and had some what of a reconciliation a few years ago. (Though we haven't spoken since, and she still doesn't return my emails.) However, in the same shoes, I would attend the memorial and give condolences with no mention of the situation. She is grieving, and this is a way to show support and respect. Just my two cents...
Ditto that
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