more of an eye-ful than expected

We stopped in small town USA to grab some lunch. it was a busy little spot since it wasn't long after noon. sitting there waiting for the capt to return with our food .... I was, as usual, people watching. to my right a teenager with fashion issues....well in my opinion of course. black skinny t-shirt with another shirt bunched up beneath it. stringy, elastic bands of many colors enveloped both wrists, & on the right encroaching all the way to his elbow. a fuzzy wuzzy black stocking cap pulled low to the brow with a mop of equally fuzzy overly dyed, flat black hair billowing out along the edges like fringe. his thick, dark , plastic eyeglass frames were small and heavy, but I could still see his squinty sleep deprived eyes that he kept glued to his cell phone.... even when he went to the restroom.
at the next table sat a lady wearing a great, over the top halloween hooker costume... only she probably wasn't one.... and she was at least in her mid seventies. she must not have the dexterity to hold a mirror up to look at the back of her hair or she would surly have put some effort into covering up her major case of pillow hair and an inch plus of gray growth since her last dye job. I haven't seen so much sparkle and shine since the Sweet Adeline convention last year. her black nylons were interupted with a pair of silver leggings with sparkly threads running thru them that caught the light. they were gathered at the ankles just above a pair of shiney gray sandles with rhinestone buckles. she wore a black blazer, which she partnered with a gathered, pleather skirt in a print of white, gray and black circles and loops, and a shell or tank top that was edged with tassles and charms that made noise when she moved. her wrists, neckline and lobes were adorned with large pieces of turquoise jewelry. nothing but the glitzy sunglasses she never removed, would have been more appropriate to finish off her ... ensamble. the amusement gained from just these two customers was pure entertainment. I almost forgot to eat.